Funny Quotes by Green Monk · Page 9

A clean house is a sign of no Internet connection...

— Green Monk

The awesome moment when someone gets accused of something you did.

— Green Monk

Any girl can get a facial, but it takes real woman to get bukkake.

— Green Monk

Women, you may as well go for the younger man -- they never mature anyway!

— Green Monk

I just faced the ultimate rejection. I was masturbating and my hand fell asleep.

— Green Monk

My girlfriend isn't very punctual. She's been late on her period for 6 months now.

— Green Monk

A REAL man can get closer to a girl's heart , without unbuttoning her shirt

— Green Monk

Follow your dreams ...except that one where you're naked in Neighbor's room!

— Green Monk

I had a wet dream about you last night. I dreamt you got hit by a bus and pissed myself laughing...

— Green Monk

Truth is my garden, Honesty is my beauty, Smile is my weapon against every difficulty.

— Green Monk

There aren't even enough stars in the sky, water drops in an ocean, or people in the world that could represent how…

— Green Monk

Dear circle, Do you ever wake up in the morning and realize your life is pointless? Sincerely, square.

— Green Monk

For the third time this week, I saw my girlfriend with another man. To be fair, we've never met and she doesn't…

— Green Monk

I thought I was going crazy. So I went to a therapist. After half an hour, he paid me to leave. I…

— Green Monk

I can tell any girl's future by just touching and feeling her butts... . . . This divine knowledge is known as Ass-trology.

— Green Monk

You've got to give it to people who wear crocs. Their dedication to dying alone is amazing.

— Green Monk

Never stop learning … becoz life never stop teaching.

— Green Monk

When I was younger I had everything handed to me on a plate... Soup was a nightmare

— Green Monk

Some call it vodka, I call it instant whore juice.

— Green Monk

Men Are on This Planet Because Vibrators Can't Buy Drinks ...

— Green Monk

I will forgive, but I won't forget.. I hope you know, you've lost my respect.

— Green Monk

If you don't love your job… Take a home loan

— Green Monk

If money is the root of all evil, I must be a saint because I never have any money

— Green Monk

A wise man among the ignorant is like a beautiful girl in the company of blind men.

— Green Monk

I don't know my friends addresses, but I know exactly where they live.

— Green Monk

Running away from any problem only increases the distance from a solution.

— Green Monk

I wonder if fat guys leave their shirts on when they fuck?

— Green Monk

I do take stress medicine...it's called BEER!

— Green Monk

Your anger issues really flourish when you're hungry.

— Green Monk

If money doesn't change you, you're an idiot.

— Green Monk

The secret of our marriage is chemistry. She's on Valium and I'm on Prozac

— Green Monk

People Spend Time For Earning Money & And Same Money Is Spent For Spending Time.

— Green Monk

All I want is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

— Green Monk

Appreciate Somebody When You With Them , Not When Their With Somebody NEW

— Green Monk

Alcohol warning: Too much might lead to pregnancies…

— Green Monk

If alcohol is evil, then alcoholics are the people who constantly and selflessly fight the evil in this world.

— Green Monk

When I was a kid I always imagined myself waking up to & sleeping to a social networking website. Dreams do come true.

— Green Monk

Friendship is rainbow between 2 hearts. Sharing 7 colors: love, sadness, happiness, truth, faith, secret, & respect.

— Green Monk

If you hire two lawyers, does that mean that both lawyers could be replaced by one paralegal?

— Green Monk

People get so defensive and immediately start denying it if you dare accuse them of snoring.

— Green Monk