Facebook Timeline is an excellent graphical and visual representation to show how you wasted all your precious time in the past... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
LADIES: You should never beg for a guys commitment to you . If he wants you, he'll do whatever it takes to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dear ugly people, if you ever feel that you hate your life, don't worry, you are not alone. I hate your life… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You can steal my tweets if you like, but I lick every single one before I tweet them. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My personal trainer told me to listen to my body while working out so I left the gym & went to get… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Number one rule: Never get attached to something that wasn't yours in the first place. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Looking for soulmate. Description: Smart, funny, good-looking & loves to battle with lightsaber swords while making sound effects. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Two whales walked into a bar. One said, Weeeeeeeee-ooooooooo-uuuuuuuuuu-hhhh. The other whale said, Shut up, Steve. You're drunk! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I bet in Africa they play commercials of American stripper girls starving for their father's attention. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone says: 'Expect the unexpected.' Slap their face and say: 'You didn't expect that, did you?' — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Listen closely when your kiddo tell you their dreams. Just puke on them when they laugh. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I love a woman who knows how beautiful she is, but doesn't let it change her attitude towards the world. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkard moment ,while a lunch with important people,Suddenly,you drop coke on your new clothes -.- — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Average women believe they need a man to feel wanted & loved. Real women are very desired, have self-love, & do just… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I typed married but it was auto-corrected to martyred. Damn,smartphone has gained intelligence. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It takes about 35 years for a woman to reach their sexual peak. For a man it takes about 5 to 10 mins — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I have just Kidnapped myself …..Give me One Million dollars or you will never see me again! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My Wife & me are either going to buy a dog or have a child. Actually we can't decide whether to ruin… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you trip and you immediately start running, and act like that's what you wanted to do anyway. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Comic Sans walked into a bar. The bartender frowned and said, We don't serve your type here. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No, I did not want the receipt, but now that you've asked, I'm getting suspicious. So yes please I want it. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There are two greatest days in a guys life… The day he was BORN… and the day he discovered PORN... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Blowjobs are the second best thing a woman can ever do with her mouth, the first best thing is shutting the fuck… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I'm living the dream! Unfortunately, its the one where I came to work with no pants on. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
What's the difference between a penás and a práck? A penás is fun, sexy and satisfying. A práck is the guy connected… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I hate when films say 'MAY' contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn't. DON'T WASTE MY TIME — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Happiness Is Like Penis. It Always Looks Small But When You Learn To Share It, You Realize How Big It Can Be. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I act completely normal around my parents. But as soon as I'm with my friends, I'm like the energizer bunny, on crack... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't snort, and I don't gamble. I do lie a little bit though. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Just bought a pair of boots that are so comfortable when you're kicking someone in the face. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
True friends are like diapers they never leave your ass, even if they are full of shit. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Sometimes I like to be a bit Romantic, that's why I light up a couple of scented candles when I masturbate. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You're in a relationship to be happy, to smile, to laugh, to make memories. not to constantly be upset, hurting and crying.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You know you've had enough coffee when you can thread a sewing machine ...while it's running! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Females need to search for a man with goals and ambition because 10 years from now swag isnt gonna pay your bills . — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Stop checking your phone nobody loves you! - me at the cinema to anyone checking their phone — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I coughed in the morning & then entered my symptoms on internet . Now according to WEBMD I will die tonight. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share
