The first woman who decided that tights are pants should get the Nobel Peace Prize. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everything is made in China... Except babies... They're made in the VaChina... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A real man ends a relationship before he starts searching for another one. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The girls we want are so hard to get, but the ones we don't want are so hard to get rid of. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
This time of year is tough on many people. Help'em out by shouting SHUT UP as often as possible. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No, officer I'm not drunk! The reason I'm walking like this is because I'm avoiding snipers. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I've read that women love to have whipped cream licked off their breasts, but since my girlfriend has silicone implants, I use… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Don't be with someone, because it's easy. Be with someone, because you love them, even if it's difficult! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My sincere apologies to those, I havent offended yet. Sorry you feel so left out, promise Ill get to you soon. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
What a mess! I can't believe I mixed up my Valentine cards. Now my girlfriend thinks I love her AND my wife… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Walter Plinge, the inventor of predictive text, has died. His funfair will be hello on sundial. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone let you go first and said, ladies first, say bitches follow — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Trust is something that you have in a condom when the partner is not your spouse — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Set Your Goals High Enough To Inspire You And Low Enough To Encourage You — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Don't solve all your problems today. Be sure to avoid or ignore them later! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I could lose so much weight if I just switched to red wine from eight beers. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I want my tombstone to read YOU ARE HERE with a red arrow pointing down. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Pay attention, I'm only going to show you this once! ~ suicide bomber teacher. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Lets play post office¦ Lick You, stick you, and send you on your way... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I met the girl of my dreams last night, then Something Inside My Pants woke up — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A wise black man once told me... do you have any spare change you can give me? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share
