Blowjobs are the only jobs that haven't been affected by this shitty economy. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I make inappropriate choices when I drink. I also make them when I'm not drinking — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Be the girl everyone wants to be with Not the girl that everyone has been with... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A news paper seems more intresting when . . . The person sitting next to you is reading it... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Fact: The more rhinestones a girl has on her clothes, the easier it is for a guy to take them off. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My girlfriend said she liked to be teased in the bedroom so, last night in bed I told her, Your new glasses… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A Relationship Should Be Between (-_-)&(-_-) NOT (-_-)&(-_-)+(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-)(-_-) — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Three Things I've Learned: Never trust a skinny chef, A fat personal trainer or Man in a wheelchair wearing dirty shoes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dont wait for Mother or Fathers day to show your love and gratitude to your parents. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
We all make mistakes. What makes me different is that I cry after every single one of them. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Some women are so bored with sex, they only moan during commercial breaks ! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I carry a Knife everywhere I go. You never know when you might want to cut a cake. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I just want to punch a wall as hard as I can. I hope I miss and it hits your face. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
All these killings needs to stop. Lets just fight over internet with CAPS ON. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There's a smudge on my computer monitor, but I think it's on your side. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
April Fools' Day is probably the worst day ever to have a heart attack. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That special feeling when a baby grabs your finger with their whole hand .. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You call it it multiple personalities, I call it social networking in my head! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A baby just posted a picture of its mothers breast and labeled it as food porn. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If all else fails, get in bed at 8:00pm and watch a bunch of shit on tv. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share
