This global recession has had a detrimental effect on my sex life. It's ages since I've been able to afford it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
1 Facebook friend request* 0 Mutual friends. You're not even from my country, how the hell did you find me ?! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your Halloween be scarier than what's actually going on with our country. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear McDonald's Cashier, Don't give me that look... Last time I checked, there was no age limit on Happy Meals. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The closest thing you will ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We're happy that you were able to come to the wedding despite not having time to RSVP with the self addressed, pre-paid… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People told me I shouldn't take everything too seriously, and I didn't listen. Now I wish I had, because I tormented myself… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear kids on are you smarter than a 5th grader, what elementary school did you go to? Sincerely, I didn't learn that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm here for every single one of you. If you ever feel the need to get something off your chest, justmessage the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its been a rough day. I got up this morning … put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The difference between a Normal Person and a Nerd…Nerd: I got one question wrong :(..Normal Person: I got one question right! :D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone whom I'm even more dependent on now than when I was in utero. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls work on their looks but not on their minds because they know boys are stupid, not blind. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're one of the few people I don't mind very briefly communicating with on a Monday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Even though you have free health care, I hope a firecracker doesn't blow off your thumbs this Canada Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Add me on kik? I'm also getting a text free so you guys can text me without knowing my real number — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don't realize there are none from me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses much more; He who loses faith, loses all. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I drop my phone I act like I've let a newborn baby slip through my hands. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. then walk into a pole. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Those embaressing VIDEOS of you & your friends.. trying to take a picture. d: — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Progress is a continuing effort to make the things we eat, drink and wear as good as they used to be. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
40 is when your body gives your brain a list of things its not going to do anymore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't like to think myself as 'Special' I like to think myself as limited edition — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't you hate it when you're doing push-ups and you lose count after 1,000... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you text me and then within the next 3 minutes send me ???, you will not get a reply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
T, at least once in your life you tried to drink out of the cup like a dog — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times, just to be sure. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
