Where's Kanye West when my parents are giving me a 9376969675949 hour lecture? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Monday mornings would be better if they were a part of my weekend-long blackouts. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Boss's Day to the person whose job I never, ever, ever, ever want. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend will call you an idiot, but a best friend will not only call you one, but act like one with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Would you ever cheat in relationship? I can't get one girl, how the hell do you expect me to get two — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They're Twin-like," Shaunee said. "Hilarious," Erin agreed. "Shut up!" Aphrodite and Stevie Rae said together, which made the Twins convulse into laughter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When youre walking, then start texting and walking slower, and slower, and slower, until youre just standing there texting — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men: If you are a person of faith Sunday morning is a great time to get in touch with God and just… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I dont cut in front of people whenever Im waiting in long line, thats rude. I just start dancing & grinding on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear hoodies & sweatpants, Thank you for being there for me. Sincerely, sexy and I know it, but too lazy to show it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life is all about ass; you're either covering it,laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Justin Bieber and One direction were drowning and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Shoutout For Shoutout? [= -Give us one first. -Comment 'done' when finished. -NO CHEATING. I'm checking. -Be patient. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your gum randomly falls out your mouth when you're talking to someone — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If your job title is head receiver, you know you're doing something right. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I laugh in the face of danger.It's a silent laugh and I usually wait until danger turns around. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ghetto language. Bathroom = Baafrumm. Refrigerator = Fridgerataa. Remote control = Moken troll. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All I want in life is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I get sad, I Stop being sad and be awesome instead. ...True Story.:D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do they call it a 'Wonder Bra?' Maybe its because when you take it off you wonder where your boobs went. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May you be less of an international embarrassment to America this summer than the cast of Jersey Shore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your boss not attend the synagogue you pretend to be going to during the Jewish holidays. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sexually frustrated men turn into bitchy divas like that snickers commercial. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we bump into each other at the Gay Pride Parade, remember to look surprised. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
WORST MOMENT EVER: Watching a good show and then BAM. A sad, abusive animal commercial comes on. :c — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Getting back with an ex is pretty much like taking a shower and putting your dirty underwear back on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how a few words from you could make me feel a million times better. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That heart attack moment when your phone is in a different pocket than normal so you start to panic.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls have unique powers; they get wet without water, bleed without injury and make boneless things hard .. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
BRB- I dont want to talk to you. LOL- I have nothing else to say. COOL- I dont care — Anonymous Copy Share Image
FORGIVING AND ALL THAT CUTE SAPPY I LOVE YOU AND I WON'T EVER HURT YOU LIKE EVER ONLY HAPPENS IN MOVieS FUCK — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
