At the gym Boy doing sit-ups: '1...2...3...' Hot girl walks by Boy: '97...98...99...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom (on computer): do I click this? You: No! What are you doing? just give me the computer, I'll do it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
By George!" cried the inspector. "How did you ever see that?" Because I looked for it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Given the amount of food I plan to gorge on this year, I'm not confident in the integrity of this chair's construction. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope my anus and genitals roasting in 95-degree weather all day doesn't turn you off from giving me oral sex tonight. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The ideal man doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, doesn't do drugs, doesn't swear, doesn't become wild, doesn't survive. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people see you lying down with your eyes closed and they still ask 'Are you sleeping?' I reply, 'No, I'm training… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Asdfghjkl;. crying. my mom said she's considering buying the Sapphire VIP package for the BELIEVE tour. oh my god. I have too… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to someone who doesn't care if I marry a man or a woman as long as I give you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope my unrelenting excitement over Magic Mike doesn't make you feel like you've failed to fulfill all of my sexual desires. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's to the ones who know me, the dumb asses who lost me, the lucky ones who get to meet me and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm gonna cross 3/4 of the street, then turn around and go back for no fucking reason. -Squirrels — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when a little kid asks me to open something for them...and I cant... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are like accessories. Its nice to have them but not really needed... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are like...Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Please accept my friend request because based on your name, city, and photo, I'm certain we're soul mates — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't talk to me about naval tradition. It's nothing but rum, sodomy, and the lash. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder if my cat would think I'm too clingy if it ever saw how many of its pictures are on my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Since I'm giving you guys advice,can you amazing people give me advice on something..? Please(: ~ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? Because he had no body to go with. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is no pme who became rich because he broke a holiday, no one became fat because he broke a fast. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Did you study for the test? .. Nerd: All week long. ... Normal People: I read the chapter. ... Me: What test?! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When no one is watching: Like a boss. When everyone is looking: Utter dumbass fail — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are like...Coolers. Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A girl never gets mad for no reason. It may be over something small and stupid but there is still a reason. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Conversation between me and my enemy…'DUDE I SAW U ON TV!!'...'REALLY MAN?! WHERE!!'…'ANIMAL PLANET'. :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I guess you were just one of those people that walked into my life, taught me a lesson, and then walked away — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't do drugs kids. There's a time and place for everything. It's called college. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When someone calls you & asksWho is this? ... Like bitch, you called me! who are YOU? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
