Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? oh wait never mind you'll never get it — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just give me one more chance to prove the last five affairs I had meant nothing to me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Can I see your phone? Uhm, yeah, a moment, I just have to send a text. *Delete, Delete, Delete, Delete* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
TEACHER:this isn't some paper you can just write the night before ME:you underestimate my power — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If eating left over pizza for breakfast is wrong, I don't wanna be right! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'What do you fear my lady?' 'A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them and all chance… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I hear tapping outside my window. I don't think it's my prince to come kiss me. I think its a serial… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I need more people to play Draw Something with, so add Jazzimini if you would like to play with me(: Lol, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today's heat has me more hot and bothered than a lonely housewife reading Fifty Shades of Grey at a Magic Mike screening. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Mom, thanks for not answering the phone. I could be locked in some rapist's basementfor all you know. Thanks, nice to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just wanted to congratulate myself on sitting through your graduation ceremony. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I smile because you're my Mother. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it. Happy Mom's Day! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The grass is greener on the other side, because that's where the dog has been shitting. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't always go for the guys who can sweep you off your feet. They can drop you on your ass just as… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your Hanukkah prayers not be drowned out by incessant Christmas music. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone elses can shorten it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just realized the tooth fairy teaches us to sell our body parts for money. O__o — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Genius takes time, but stupidity can be achieved in a heart beat, and usually is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People are funny you don't even know about the shit that I been through. ~~~ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm glad the slower summer pace at work gives us more time to complain about work — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'I have enough clothes and shoes I never need to go shopping again...' Said no girl ever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hahahaha...you so funny...but not as funny as your face... My photography teacher in 8th said this. lol — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Exams don't test what you know. They test how well you can study the night before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am suspicious of a holiday solely devoted to a man's inability to ask for directions... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know the Hulk? That is what the Green Giant looks like when you don't eat your vegetables. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
