In honor of Bastille Day, I promise not to mispronounce my many requests for a menage a trois. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you EVER need anyone to talkto, please message us. we're always willing to h — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to kill the sexiest person in the world, but suicide is a sin. :D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There should be an 'I Don't Know' option on a test so I can be correct more frequently. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
*BEFORE YOU KISS A GIRL* - Grab her waist. - Pull her close to you. - Look into her eyes. - Look… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dirty joke! Timmy fell in mud. Clean joke! Timmy played with bubbles in the bath. Dirty part of Clean joke! Bubbles was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dont you hate it when you're texting lying down & all of a sudden ur phone decides to be ninja & slip… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My parents: you're beautiful honey - old people: I bet all the boys are chasing after you already. - Boys: Ew, what… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Theres a famous saying: If 99 percent was good enough, gravity wouldnt work for 14 minutes every day. I did the calculation,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When people sing happy birthday to you 5% - sing 10% - smile 85% - sit there like an awkward walrus and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you're wearing sweatpants & youhave no pockets. So you put your phone on your waist and it slides… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Q: What's your opinion on long distance relationships? A: Honestly, I know a lot of the time they don't really work out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom, I have good news! 'You got a 100 in your math test?!' Mom, I said good news, not a miracle. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope being self-employed on Boss's Day doesn't make you feel even lonelier than usual. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The difference between me and her is that I can make him smile with my pants on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Work eight hours and sleep eight hours and make sure they are not the same eight hours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Spongebob, it's been more than 10 years, you're not getting your license — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hello, modeling agency? Yes! Umm.. I just got 37 likes on my new profile pic, I think I'm ready to go pro. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hearing yourself sing in the shower and wondering why the hell you haven't made an album yet ;D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Is your ass jealous of all the shit that's coming out of your mouth, ha! Get some toilet paper for it bitch! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd be much more into the Gay Pride Parade if real lesbians were like porn lesbians. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whew. Thank you, warning label. I was actually considering using my new floor lamp in the shower. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you finally take a decent picture and then asyou continue to stare it gets uglier — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't care if you don't like me, I'm not on this Earth to fucking please you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Only Peter Parker who do not end up in hospital when bitten by poisonous spider, even he become more stronger. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when your smiling at your phone like an idiot, and your parents ask you who you're talking to. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks to the catastrophic greenhouse effect, Labor Day no longer signifies the end of summer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The disintegration of your marriage has greatly improved my social life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how you can tell who likes who, but yet, can't tell who likes you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate it when I accidentally use a instead of a and it makesthe whole conversation sexual — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whats a male chauvinist pig? A guy who hates every bone in a woman's body, except his own. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
