Seeing you on Tuesday is always a welcome relief that you didn't give in to your suicidal thoughts on Monday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does milk. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When are friends fall we laugh…... But when our phones fall we panic. ha — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I find it ironic that geography majors have a hard time finding a place to work... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry you can't blame steroids for your genitalia's size and dysfunction. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I explained that I'd been homeschooled but that didn't help. She must have been picturing cavemenlike supervillians in capes grunting and showing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: Okay, when I get home I'm getting all my homework done, cleaning my room, and going to bed early. Facebook: lol..no. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It feels like a mini heart attack when I don't find my mobile in my pocket & It's almost like heart fail… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know that you know the true meaning of sacrificial brotherly love when you let someone else be your favorite character in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you have a choice between ugly or fat; You can turn lights out on ugly, but you can always feel the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
School year: Me: Yeaaa it's Saturday, Let's do something crazy!! Friend: Totally! Summer: Me: Dude, what day is it? Friend: I think… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A successful man is one who can earn more money than his wife can possibly spend. A successful woman is one who… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We feel that your job performance would improve greatly if you just quit doing your job. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When your teacher is talking about her kids and all you're thinking is omg you had sex!? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry your girlfriend is too young to sit with us at the adult table this Thanksgiving. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never make the same mistake twice. I make it 4 or 5 times, just to be sure.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Roses are red,violets are blue.I have five fingers, the third one is for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Good luck breaking into insular, well-established friend networks in your new city. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward little dance your thumbs do when you don't know how to reply to someones text — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Saying YOU'RE WELCOME so fucking loudly when someone doesn't say Thank you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There should be a holiday dedicated to all the brave people who show up to work on Mondays. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
