“Dogs aren’t just for Christmas; you could probably get hold of a cat for a few weeks too.” — Daily Florence Copy Share Image
Facebook My Old Bitch Twitter My New Bitch & Instagram Go Be My Next Bitch ! — Teran Fisher Copy Share Image
“Seriously man, shut it.” “Alright, alright. You’re the driver,” He raised his chip bag in toast, “My life is in your hands.” — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
“After your daily bread, if you ask God for anything, ask 'him' to make you right in the head.” — Fakeer Ishavardas Copy Share Image
“Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward.” “Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don’t throw flowers.” — Andrew Barger Copy Share Image
DEAR MATHS PLEASE GROW UP AND SOLVE YOUR OWN PROBLEMS , IM TIRED OF SOLVING THEM FOR YOU . — Asheya Copy Share Image
Ive gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a… — Maria Copy Share Image
ALWAYS REMEMBER PEOPLE WHO CONTINUALLY USE THE WORD BUT, ¦.NEVER GO ANY WHERE IN LIFE,¦. BECAUSE THEY ARE ALWAYS SITTING ON THEIR… — George Kincses Copy Share Image
“I don't understand this irony - valuable things like cars, gold, diamond are made up of hard materials but most valuable things… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit same mistake again they… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your sitting in church and fall asleep and start snoring, then the preacher calls your name and you… — D'quack Copy Share Image
“MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS? ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS. MY FRIEND:… — KanyaACoffman Copy Share Image
“And there were carved hearts in the trunks of trees with the initials of couples who felt there was no more romantic… — Kevin Hearne Copy Share Image
“So , you can hate the heir to the throne all you want, write mean poems about him in your diary, but… — Casey McQuiston Copy Share Image
“I knew it was bad. When my jeans screamed in protest that’s one thing— I can blame the dryer. But when my… — Shauna Richmond Copy Share Image
“You probably think you know all about men, because you read a lot of romance novels, so you think you're an expert… — Oliver Markus Malloy Copy Share Image
“ the way people treat shifters can be amusing." "Discrimination is never funny." "You're a righteous woman, Kim. I like that." "How… — Jennifer Ashley Copy Share Image
“I'm transferring Ian down to New Orleans to assist with this,” Arch said as he looked at both men. “I would send… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
“It’s not really my fault. The problem is that my mouth just comes out with these things. And you can’t blame me… — Gideon Defoe Copy Share Image
“There are different types of fancy photographers. Some are big, fun personalities like Mario Testino, who once told me, “Lift your chin,… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
Away from politics, we need to openly discuss the frequency by which our females - teens & adults alike use female condoms… — CHILL SAUCE KTN Copy Share Image
“First time fucking driving and I fucking crash,” I muttered. "Good thing is, it’s a minor dent,” piped the helpful back seat,… — Finn Eccleston Copy Share Image
“If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen>” — Foster "Raul" Mkhabele Copy Share Image
I look at people sometimes and think ¦.. Really? Thats the sperm that won! — Deep Patel Copy Share Image
“When you are angry try your best to go to sleep, it keeps you away from speaking, writing and thinking while you… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
“I don’t think this is working out between us,” I told him. “You and I want different things. It’s not me, it’s… — T.J. Klune Copy Share Image
*A nerdy guys phone goes off* Jock: Who was that, your girlfriend? *Everyone laughs* Nerd: Nope. It was yours. *Dead silence* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Life isn't over until you're dead. Another ultra-positive, ultra-motivational tweet to improve your day. You're welcome.” — Carla H. Krueger Copy Share Image
“If you blame gravity for falling in love, even God has the right to laugh at you.” — Matshona Dhliwayo Copy Share Image
Valentine's day is coming up? Dammmmmmmmmmnit, I forgot to get a girlfriend again!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“When someone gives you advice, just ask them to give it in writing and they will either keep mum or will run… — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when the teacher is helping someone next to you and their butt in in your face!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“London on a gloomy and rainy day is still better than San Francisco on a bright and sunny day.” — Mouloud Benzadi Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you post the funniest facebook status you have ever written but no one likes ! xP — Komal Copy Share Image
![“Ive gone into hundreds of [fortune-teller's parlors], and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.” quote by Maria](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/748/maria-3454_fortune-teller_ive-gone-into-hundreds-of-fortune-teller_2347939.jpg)
