Funny pilot Quotes

Helicopters don't fly... they just beat the air into submission.

— Anonymous

Any attempt to stretch fuel is guaranteed to increase head wind.

— Anonymous

If God had meant man to fly, he'd have given him lots more money.

— Anonymous

Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

— Anonymous

I know there's a lot of money in aviation because I put it there.

— Anonymous

A fool and his money are soon flying more aircraft than he can handle.

— Anonymous

Trust your captain but keep your seat belt securely fastened.

— Anonymous

Aviation is not so much a profession as it is a disease.

— Anonymous

The three most common expressions in aviation are, 'Why is it doing that?, 'Where are we?' and 'Oh Crap.'

— Anonymous

A male pilot is a confused soul who talks about women when he's flying, and about flying when he's with a woman.

— Anonymous

Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

— Anonymous

There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

— Anonymous

If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter... and therefore, unsafe.

— Anonymous

'Unskilled' pilots are always found in the wreckage with their hand around the microphone.

— Anonymous

A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the…

— Anonymous

A thunderstorm is never as bad on the inside as it appears on the outside. It's worse.

— Anonymous

There are only two things required to fly a modern airliner: a pilot and a dog. It's the pilot's job to feed…

— Anonymous

The last thing every pilot does before leaving the aircraft after making a gear up landing is to put the gear selection…

— Anonymous

Never fly the 'A' model of anything.

— Ed Thompson

I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous.

— Anonymous

An aircraft may disappoint a good pilot, but it won't surprise him.

— Anonymous

It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You just start off with a large fortune.

— Anonymous

It's a good landing if you can still get the doors open.

— Anonymous

The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

— Anonymous

If something hasn't broken on your helicopter... it's about to.

— Anonymous

What's the difference between God and fighter pilots? God doesn't think he's a fighter pilot.

— Anonymous

Those who hoot with the owls by night, should not fly with the eagles by day.

— Anonymous

Passengers prefer old captains and young flight attendants.

— Anonymous

Things which do you no good in aviation: The sky above you. The runway behind you. The fuel still in the truck.…

— Anonymous