When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married. — William Shakespeare Copy Share Image
Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
A man who says marriage is a 50-50 proposition doesn't understand two things: 1 - Women, 2 - Fractions. — Melchor Lim Copy Share Image
My girlfriend wants to get married. I tell you - I hope she meets somebody nice. — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
Every man sees his second mother in his wife but every woman sees her first child in her husband. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Marriage - as its veterans know well - is the continuous process of getting used to things you hadn't expected. — Thomas Mullen Copy Share Image
I'm going to get married again because I'm more mature now, and I need some kitchen stuff. — Wendy Liebman Copy Share Image
There once was an old man of Lyme who married three wives at a time when asked, 'Why a third?' he replied… — William Cosmo Monkhouse Copy Share Image
[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat Over everything debatable and combatable Because I believe a little… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
I don't think it's fair - you get married, you give your wife a wedding ring. I think you should give her… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
A person who surrenders when hes WRONG, is HONEST. A person who SURRENDERS when not SURE, is WISE. A person who surrenders… — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
I think weddings are sadder than funerals, because they remind you of your own wedding. You can't be reminded of your own… — Brendan Behan Copy Share Image
What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You kissed me like that when I was a blushing bride ...? I wonder what I was blushing about? — Gracie Allen Copy Share Image
When a married man talks in his sleep, it's because he finally has the opportunity to say something without the wife interrupting… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.… — Red Skelton Copy Share Image
My wife and I had an argument last week that was so stupid, that it bears repeating. My wife collects twist ties...welcome… — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
True love is waking up next to your partner and thinking Well, I could smother them with a pillow or make breakfast.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There comes a time when a man and woman realize that their separate schemes can be better achieved as a conspiracy. — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
God speaks with authority on every subject including marriage and His advice trumps Oprah's every time. — Kirk Cameron Copy Share Image
I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
Why do women live longer than men? Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bills does. — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
What's for dinner is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the… — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
When you develop the ability to listen to anything unconditionally without losing your temper or self confidence, it means you're MARRIED — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. — Lewis Grizzard Copy Share Image
All tragedies are finished by a death, All comedies are ended by a marriage. — Lord Byron Copy Share Image
I believe our differences are the little pinches of salt that can make the marriage seem more flavorful. — James E. Faust Copy Share Image
When I propose to my future wife, I'm going to put a ring in a Pokeball, get down on one knee, and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its a funny thing that when a man hasnt anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Marriage is nature's way of ensuring that a woman picks up some mothering experience before she has her first child. — Robert Breault Copy Share Image
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women. — Gloria Steinem Copy Share Image
Like good wine, marriage gets better with age - once you learn to keep a cork in it. — Gene Perret Copy Share Image
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always wrong and the other is the wife... — Raghav Singh Copy Share Image
Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition - with the possible exception of closet space. — Gene Perret Copy Share Image
![“[about sex and being married] It's like being the National Guard, we may not be seeing as much action as the front line, but we are living to fight another day.” quote by Jeff Foxworthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/137/jeff-foxworthy-939_action_about-sex-and-being-married-it-s-like-be_1451903.jpg)
