Funny inspirational Quotes · Page 3

A good time for laughing is when you can.

— Jessamyn West

A mother is the best friend God ever gave.

— Christian Nestell Bovee

Never put off until tomorrow what you can put off forever.

— P. J. Plauger

I think there's something odd about eating another living anything.

— Shania Twain

How can I have morning sickness when I don't get up till noon?

— Rita Rudner

When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win.

— Anonymous

The key to success is not through achievement, but through enthusiasm.

— Malcolm Forbes

Stop worrying - nobody gets out of this world alive.

— Clive James

A skeptic is a person who, when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it is a forgery.

— Morris Bender

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

— Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

I’m not going to die because I failed as someone else. I’m going to succeed as myself.

— Margaret Cho

The reason so few people are successful is no one has yet found a way for someone to sit down and slide…

— W. Clement Stone

You can say what you like about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

— Mae West

If we're not willing to settle for junk living, we certainly shouldn't settle for junk food.

— Sally Edwards

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.

— Stan Kelly-Bootle

If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.

— Anonymous

Everyone has a doctor in him or her; we just have to help it in its work. The natural healing force within…

— Hippocrates

According to the group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, fish have feelings too. Whenever my sons go fishing they always…

— Donald Trump

“Again, don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions. Go “Over! Under! Through!” and opinions will change organically when you’re…

— Tina Fey

The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber has already been cut and attached together…

— Dave Barry

I had no intention of becoming a comedian. I just wanted to make people happy. I tried everything-I shucked oysters, I painted…

— Ellen DeGeneres

When you take the time to actually listen, with humility, to what people have to say, it's amazing what you can learn.…

— Greg Mortenson

Women and people of color and young people especially are about to have this amazing opportunity to shift the political conversation in…

— Sandra Fluke

She watched the first episode and she was like, 'This is feminism?' And then by the end of the season, she was…

— Allison Williams

When everyone thinks alike, no one thinks very much.

— Walter Lippmann

The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.

— Will Rogers

I ain't sleeping. I'm just taking a good look at the insides of my eyelids.

— Jonathan Raban

You'll be richer in the end than a prince, if you're a friend.

— Edgar Guest

Self awareness is NOT just a bunch of amino acids bumping together.

— Robert A. Heinlein

When times are bad is when the real entrepreneurs emerge.

— Robert Kiyosaki

I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.

— Yogi Berra

To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy.

— Hippocrates

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

— Phyllis Diller

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.

— Mark Twain

I'm stopped. I'll never eat another burger.

— Oprah Winfrey

There's a little truth in all jive, and a little jive in all truth.

— Leonard Barnes

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second.

— Albert Einstein

Truth is what stands the test of experience.

— Albert Einstein

When you're out of willpower you call on stubbornness, that's the trick.

— Henri Matisse

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

— Will Rogers