I miss you when I'm not with you. When I'm not with you all I do is think about you. When I… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women are like coconuts. Sometimes you have to hit them really fucking hard before they will spread open. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why do people feel stronger on Saturdays and Sundays? because all other days are Weak days!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One of the great mysteries of life is how a man can leave his car keys in the refrigerator. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That moment when you forgot your password and computer driving you insane when network fail. Computer says No! — Bel Claveria Carig Martinez Copy Share Image
Why do we call it truth or dare when we all know it's really Who do you like or Awkward sexual task. — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
If you're Talking behind my back that just means my life is obviously more interesting than yours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you see a guy opening a car door for a girl, it's either a new car...or a new girl! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You are the Powerful person only when., your Presence can decrease or increase someones Heartbeat.!!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you want to get your children's attention, just look real comfortable, talk on the phone,or try to have a conversation with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its almost halloween... there already treating your hoe like a pumpkin just to smash her!!! — Patrick Thomas Copy Share Image
I bought a self-help cd online. It was called How to Handle Disappointment. When the package arrived it was empty! — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
That awkward moment , when your 'friend' say's that he/she would get out of the relationship there in, just to get with… — Syoung Copy Share Image
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are politicians or celebrities. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A female officer pulls over a drunk man. The officer tells him, Anything you say will be held against you! Then the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a woman asks you a question, its better to tell her the truth , chances are shes asking you because she… — Becca Copy Share Image
LOVE, A strange feeling that comes over a man -- when he keeps wanting to call a girl by his last name; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when the teacher points at the person behind you and you think the teacher was pointing at you so… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's so weird to think that before Twitter, all of this nonsense just stayed in people's heads. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I always lock my front door before I get in the shower 'cause if a killer broke in & heard me singing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Inside an EXAMINATION HALL I think myrself I am AN intelligent,but when result comes out MY intelligences are far apart. — Subhananda Copy Share Image
If you don't know, please ask. If you don't agree, Argue. If you don't like it, please say it. But dont sit… — Tanya Bianco Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, SMART, A man who is never so busy bringing home the bacon that he forgets the applesauce; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're a dude and it takes more than 20 seconds to take of your jeans because it's tight,You Gay ! — Boat_Grandberry Copy Share Image
Almost all serial killers are men. That's 'cause women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every night when everyone's asleep, I grab my phone and I start reading all our old conversations. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know the acronym behind your name won't keep me from kicking your ass in the parking lot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear shaving commercials, stop shaving hairless legs. If you want impress us, please shave a gorilla. — Ashley Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder, would females have all these relationship problems if they would have chose those nice guys they decided to ignore.… — Ephrem Hardin Copy Share Image
I don't understand how girls could be so in love with a guy one week and the next not even talk to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A guy sitting with his girlfriend, drinking beer says, "I love you". Girl asks "Is it you or the beer talking?". Boy… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy! Grab my glasses I'm out the the door bout to hit thee city! — Ke$sha Copy Share Image
My doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks. So now I have to sit down when I… — Carlos De'shawn Banks Copy Share Image
Dear guy on the dance floor 'Raising the roof,' you're not raising your chances of getting laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today's forecast; severe attitude warnings possible throughout the day, scattered sarcasm showers, and a strong chance of annoyance later in the day... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To all those i've hurt in the past I'd just like to say…ah well you probably deserved it — Avi Chauhan Copy Share Image
I'm gonna cross 3/4 of the street, then turn around and go back for no fucking reason. -Squirrels — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If youre protective and tall and sweet and cute and smell good and give good hugs then I want to date you — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
