I love making friends. I usually prefer to make them out of plaster and give them funny looking hats. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment, when Usain Bolt runs faster than your internet connection. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you're born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a 'Bang.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Internet Users, Someday u will regret not reading me. Sincerely, Terms & Conditions. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered in b*tches. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why is it that in girl tampons commercials they're always laughing and dancing? Shouldn't they be reving chainsaws & burning shit down? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It hurts when someone with whom you wanna talk ignores you,but it hurts worst when you ignore that person because they are… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why periods? Why can't mother nature just text me and be like 'Waddup girl. You ain't pregnant. Have a great week. Talk… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wife: If I dismiss the cook and make the food myself for a month, what will you pay me? Husband: I won't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Always take your drivers license pic STONED, that way whenever you get pulled over, the cop will think you always look like… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear guys, please do not talk about how big your muscles are and how much you bench. I'd rather watch paint dry.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If my name was Mario I'd get into as many relationships as I can just so I could break up with them… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I saw a license plate yesterday that said "I Miss New York", so I smashed their window and stole their radio. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The 'Awkward Moment' when ur when you start yelling at someome and they put there hand over your mouth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On a scale from Kristen Stewart to Nicki Minaj, how many different facial expressions do you have? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, 'I'd so tap that.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You have at least two addresses memorized; Your own address and P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Halloween: Is one night of the year when all households save the most on their electricity bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate being tickled, I do not think it's cute, I do not find it funny, I will kick you in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
LOL at the stupid girls who think they're boyfriend is faithful when they're phone says Inbox Empty — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can't get out of my bed or I'll… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when a girl can't take a compliment: You're so pretty No I'm not, I'm ugly WELL.. YOU UGLY THEN, DAMN… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let love comes to you, be patient. In fairy tales they don't find each other until the last page. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What the fuck I look like stressing over friends? I got family I walk pass and don't even speak to. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My girl asked me to do something to make her feel special...I bought that b*tch a wheelchair. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you friend request me on facebook and your profile picture is a car, I will assume you're a transformer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I did it on my bed.. I did it on the couch.. I did it in the car... Texting is such an… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
