My wife and I are trying to have a child. But it's so hard to take one out of Chuck E Cheese… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the world doesnt end on December 21st, 2012, I have a feeling there will be a lot of babies born on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So I won't give up alcohol, boys, being judgmental or sarcasm but I'll definitely give up drunk texting for Lent. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If couples who are in love are called 'love birds', then couples who always argue should be called 'angry birds.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Facebook ruins relationships then guns kill people, pencils misspell words, cars make people drive drunk & spoons make you fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd be more upset about the NSA accessing my phone records if I used my phone for anything but texting and taking… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life is like Facebook. People will like your problems & comment, but no one will solve them because everyone is busy updating theirs — Anonymous Copy Share Image
RELATIONSHIP like Bonnie and Clyde ; SEX like Jody and Yvette ; ARGUE like Ike and Tina ; and MAKE UP like Martin and Gina. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Big Sean's voice was Siri's Voice on the iPhone 5...'Turn left boiiii...Wait, HOLD UP! Whoa Dereee! Wrong way! Swerveeeee.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Cop pulls man over for suspicion of drunk driving. Cop: Sir have you been drinking? Man: No. Cop: Papers. Man: Scissors, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I might not live forever...so love me while you can..kiss me like its my last breathe, and tell me goodbye like you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best thing about Facebook is writing a quote and putting a random name at the end, people will still believe it~Abraham… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Linkedin invitations are like herpes...They pop up from time to time to remind you they still exist and nobody wants them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes you follow the rules, sometimes you break the rules, and sometimes, if you're lucky…you MAKE the rules!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't know why they call it a Walk of Shame. You just had sex last night and now everyone knows it.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook asks me what I'm thinking. Twitter asks what I'm doing. Foursquare asks where I am. The internet has turned into a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This is one of those mornings where I'll be picking the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms and throwing the rest away. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you put your hand up to give someone a high five but they walk right past you leaving… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Before you speak listen, before you write think, Before you quit try, Before you take a SHIT, look at the toilet paper. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Stupid me! So that's why I work so many hours, so you can collect welfare,wear pajamas in public and have an iPhone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Welcome to facebook, where you can stalk your exes, freak out your frends, and go from normal to bi polor in 30 secounds! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most kids: I like to drink and smoke weed. Me: When it's cold out I like to breathe heavily and pretend I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Niggas be wanting a girl who plays video games, watch sports & wear jordan's. Sounds like you want a boyfriend bro ahah...;) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For All Girls That Say All Guys Are The Same , Who Told Yhuueww To Try Them All . ? S T… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Females: I'ma slap that b*tch when I see her, she got me f**ked up! *Girl walks past. She lucky she ain't look… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you and your friend s are playing hide and go seek so you go and hide and the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I party like rock star , look like a movie star , play like a all star , f*** like porn star...baby I'm Superstar!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We should watch a movie. And by 'watch a movie' I mean we should fuck each other senseless while a movie plays… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you're feeding a baby and you open up your mouth every time you give it a bite because you're… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Old meaning of sorry. I wont do it again. New meaning of sorry. Damn I got caught, next time I need to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A penis has a rough life. His hair always looks a mess, he stays next to an asshole, his family is nuts,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm going to pretend I didn't hear you, close my eyes, and count to 10..I suggest you either rephrase your attitude..or run… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: 'Local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That uncomfortable moment when you're in the car and you look at the people in the car next to you. Then you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have an eating disorder. I be eatin DIS order of fries, and DIS order of nuggets, and DIS order of wings… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
