I hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm wearing my Apple Bottom jeans and I can't find my boots with the furrrr. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're so much better than A-Rod at concealing your drug use on the job. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls are like Jedi's, they can lift things without even touching them...if you know what I mean. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles stop... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you text me and then within the next 3 minutes send me ???, you will not get a reply. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Worst Pain In Life Is When Someone You Know Turns Into Someone You Knew.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In the past, when you were angry with someone you fought them. Now you just delete them off Facebook. That'll teach 'em… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when your friends and family are singing happy birthday and you are just standing there smiling … — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ramps have been employed to look in the bins along the marathon route in London for suspicious packages. They will be paid… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why am I the weird one for browsing through your pictures? You're the one who uploaded over a thousand pictures of yourself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I saw a man fall off his bike this morning. he looked around to see if anyone saw his fall. I made… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, youre popular on facebook? Thats cool. I mean, these days its easy to have 1,500 friends that youve never met before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They always say so many people die of Alcohol. Perhaps they never realized many of them were born beacuse of Alcohol!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pizza is a lot like sex. When it's good, it's really good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If lesbians aren't attracted to men, why are they attracted to women that look like men? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You should really consider creating two Facebook accounts, one for each face. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate it when I'm singing a song and someone joins in! Please, this isn't Glee! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook's timeline is my favorite way to watch girls from high school get fat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A wise man once told me, if we were all fatter we would be closer together!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate it when I tell someone I'll be there in 15 minutes yet they choose to call me every half an… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Telling a girl to calm down works about as well as trying to baptize a cat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wonder if Chinese tourists get upset when they buy a souvenir from America and find out it was made in China... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they call, I always say I'll be there… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone comments on a really old picture and you realize they were probably stalking your page. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are some people who can't sleep because they have insomnia, I'm one of those people who can't sleep because they have… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some people are really going all out for Halloween. The guy driving behind me even got sirens & flashing lights to go… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I make you breakfast in bed, a simple thank you will suffice. None of this how did you get in my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Exams should be given on either Facebook or on phone instead of sheets, ccuz today's students have more typing speed than writing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Obama's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches.' Romney's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches assuming that bitch can afford healthcare.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know how they say when you die, your whole life flashes before you? Well do you get to see what happened… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't need a psychiatrist to prod into my personal life and make me tell them all my secrets, I have my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At least my job description doesn't involve repairing the economy or being the new head football coach at Penn State. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My mom thinks WTF means wow that's fantastic...Today I texted her: Mom I got an A on my English test...my Mom said:… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Before someone gets their drivers liscence they should have to beat Rainbow Road on Mario Kart without falling off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A man yells at his wife "pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery." "Oh wonderful!" she says, "should I pack… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
