I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! — Yogi Berra Copy Share Image
If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English. — Dan Castellaneta Copy Share Image
Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so it can be determined what nutrients they have that… — Homer Copy Share Image
Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was… — Homer Copy Share Image
This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would… — Charles Montgomery Copy Share Image
You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow… — Homer Copy Share Image
Revenge is good. It's what separates us from the animals and the hippies. — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother, and I call him Gamblor! — Homer Copy Share Image
I've always wondered if there was a God. And now I know there is -- and it's me. — Homer Copy Share Image
