“Times are a’changing, my man. Welcome to the new real world where fat people don’t have to hate themselves anymore. Thank God for women like Melissa McCarthy and Adele so we can all start really believing that now.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“I’d rather straighten my pubes with a flat iron than go on another blind date.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“Times are a’changing, my man. Welcome to the new real world where fat people don’t have to hate themselves anymore. Thank God for women… — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“Seurity!" I yelled. "I'm being harassed!" Security officers swarm around me and one orders me to step inside the small office area. "What's the… — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“I didn’t get my nap today. Wouldn’t do for someone to piss me off.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“I twist and turn and grunt and stretch, all the while praying I don’t squeeze out a fart and gas every one of these… — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“Will you hold on to my penis while I drive?” “If it’s absolutely necessary, yes.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“Wishing he'd...get the hell out the door before I do something crazy like ask him to whip out his goober.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
