Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intimate when he is rich and… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
renown, n. A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame - a little more supportable than the one and a little more… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Done to a turn on the iron, behold Him who to be famous aspired. Content? Well, his grill… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
IGNORAMUS, n. A person unacquainted with certain kinds of knowledge familiar to yourself, and having certain other kinds that you know nothing… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LEVIATHAN, n. An enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been the whale, but that distinguished ichthyologer, Dr.… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
TROGLODYTE, n. Specifically, a cave-dweller of the paleolithic period, after the Tree and before the Flat. A famous community of troglodytes dwelt… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
TOMB, n. The House of Indifference. Tombs are now by common consent invested with a certain sanctity, but when they have been… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
LEONINE, adj. Unlike a menagerie lion. Leonine verses are those in which a word in the middle of a line rhymes with… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
K is a consonant that we get from the Greeks, but it can be traced away back beyond them to the Cerathians,… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
CARMELITE, n. A mendicant friar of the order of Mount Carmel. As Death was a-rising out one day, Across Mount Camel he… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
PROBOSCIS, n. The rudimentary organ of an elephant which serves him in place of the knife-and-fork that Evolution has as yet denied… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
ELECTRICITY, n. The power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else. It is the same thing… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
BABE or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
HEART, n. An automatic, muscular blood-pump. Figuratively, this useful organ is said to be the esat of emotions and sentiments --a very… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
MOUSE, n. An animal which strews its path with fainting women. As in Rome Christians were thrown to the lions, so centuries… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
DECIDE, v.i. To succumb to the preponderance of one set of influences over another set. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
IMMORAL, adj. Inexpedient. Whatever in the long run and with regard to the greater number of instances men find to be generally inexpedient comes… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
REVIEW, v.t. To set your wisdom (holding not a doubt of it./ Although in truth there's neither bone nor skin to it)/ At work… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
CLOCK, n. A machine of great moral value to man, allaying his concern for the future by reminding him what a lot of time… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
There was never a genius who was not thought a fool until he disclosed himself; whereas he is a fool then only. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
WHANGDEPOOTENAWAH, n. In the Ojibwa tongue, disaster; an unexpected affliction that strikes hard. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
Jealous, adj. Unduly concerned about the preservation of that which can be lost only if not worth keeping. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
TARIFF, n. A scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
A bad marriage is like an electrical thrilling machine: it makes you dance, but you can't let go. — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share
