I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men are simple creatures. 99% of their problems can be solved with sex, sandwiches, or both. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What is stupidity? It is when you still communicating the person you need to forget. — Kara Angela Copy Share Image
If you recall childhood, you may remember that the kids who stuck straws and cigarettes up their noses back then seemed funnier… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm not all about labels,if I like something,im going to get it, regardless the brand name…as long as its real & not… — Syoung Copy Share Image
Dude, wanna hang out?" "Nah, hanging out with my girl." "What happened to bros before hoes?" "That rule still goes, but she's… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Fixing someone broken heart, is much like treating a sickness¦no matter how hard you try if youre not the right medicine, you… — Laine Copy Share Image
Dear 11 year olds on Facebook with Its complicated. Seriously? What did he do? Steal your animal crackers? — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
That moment when you have a really clever facebook status and a family member comments on it and just ruins the whole… — Sean Tedford Copy Share Image
The only time you can call shotgun is when you can see the car. Don't try to claim it two hours before… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate facebook stalkers, they like every status you put up, talk to EVERY DAY, and when you cut them off they… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'd like to thank Tetris for making me really good at loading my dishwasher. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dont let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and evict them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Run if you must. Reason if you need. Kneel if you need…If all fails. Fight till the end! — Rizzi Vicci Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the INTERIOR DECORATOR says, Once it's in, you'll love it — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Did anyone else notice the sound if you click the like button on my status? — Danish Copy Share Image
Netflix is soo much better than going out and pretending to like people. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Love me, ill move mountains to make you happy Hurt me, & I'll drop those mountains on your face — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate it when you sit down in shorts and suddenly your thighs look 9867484949 times fatter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I bet plants go like 'Weeeeeeeee!' whenever they're swallowed by a giraffe. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Starbucks acts like they're so fancy. You sell hot black water and muffins. Calm down. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When a woman agrees to give her husband head for no reason --- there is a reason. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
