Jerry Seinfeld couldn't be here tonight. He had a prior engagement to fuck a model on a pile of cash. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
It's very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don't hear too much of that anymore. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
You cultural sodomite. You were an aide to Bobby Kennedy, which explains your connection to Hasselhoff. I guess you like to hang around guys… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
My parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles were all funny, and I felt that energy, that delivery, that timing, that sarcasm. All that stuff seeped… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
Comedians second-guessing themselves is scary. Poor taste is not a crime and we can't forget that. — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
People are roasting each other at parties, at work events, around the fire. It's so fun. People are busting each other's chops, and it's… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
Some people say Larry the Cable Guys only successful because hes pandering to the lowest common denominator, blatantly and not ironically exploiting peoples racist… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
Instead of running for President, why don’t you try walking on a treadmill? — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
I'm a big fan of Courtney Love. I love Hole and I love her acting and I love her attitude. I just hope I… — Jeff Ross Copy Share Image
