When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his massive ego, and will have all the latest and greatest blowdryer technology. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts." — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them.… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You! — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump accused Huma Abedin of sharing state secrets with her husband. I think Trump clearly lacks a sense of Huma. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
President Obama contends that charges he is "not really an American" have been trumped up by you-know-who. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
