What do we get when the Donald exposes his enormous ass? A trump roast. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
What do you call a comedian who runs for president? A trump card. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Many presidents have believed in God, but Donald Trump evidently believes that he is God. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Teddy Roosevelt spoke softly and carried a big stick; Donald Trump speaks loudly and carries a big shtick. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Trump appeals to right-wingnuts because when the going gets tough, they wig out. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump has taken the Peter Principle to unprecedented heights. Or is it depths? — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Did evangelical Christians mistake Donald Trump's hairpiece for a halo, while ignoring the obvious signs that he worships Mammon? — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Trump claims he'd be the "best jobs president that God ever created." But isn't his claim to fame firing people? — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
The slogan of the American Civil Rights Movement was "We shall overcome!" Donald Trump's new campaign slogan is "We shall overcomb!" — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
It's simply not true that Donald Trump has no experience in foreign affairs. Hell, two of his foreign affairs resulted in marriages! — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Trump appeals to the disaffected by loudly trumpet-ing what they want to hear: other people are always the problem, and the solution… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump's hairpiece has reportedly narrowed its list of running partners down to Don King, Kramer, William Shatner, Dolly Parton and Phil… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
The truth can finally be told: Donald Trump's autism was caused by a vaccination that went terribly wrong; this explains why he… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump just announced that if Republicans don't treat him fairly, he will resurrect the Whig party and run as its hair… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
When Donald Trump becomes president, he'll fly on a jumbo jet rebadged Hair Force One. It will be oversized to contain his… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Toupée or not toupée for professional government: that is the hair-raising question created by Donald Trump's candidacy. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
These are clearly the end times, and now we understand why the prophets warned us about the Trump of Doom. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump has filed so many bankruptcies and busted so many companies that his children now have receding heir lines. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump accused Huma Abedin of sharing state secrets with her husband. I think Trump clearly lacks a sense of Huma. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump just pledged to be loyal to the Green Party, the Communist Party and Party Central, as long as they agree… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Even Donald Trump's hairpiece is fed up with his insults and says it now supports Bernie Sanders. When Trump found out, he… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Every political card played by Jeb Bush has been Trumped; every political note played by The Donald has been Trumpeted. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
C'm'on lefties! Admit that Trump has been very tough on China. He has been especially tough on Chinese kids who slave away… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Trump's last name is an omen that he'll win the Republican nomination, since "trump" means "triumph." One might suggest that this will… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts." — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them.… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You! — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump accused Huma Abedin of sharing state secrets with her husband. I think Trump clearly lacks a sense of Huma. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
President Obama contends that charges he is "not really an American" have been trumped up by you-know-who. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
