Donald Trump just announced that if Republicans don't treat him fairly, he will resurrect the Whig party and run as its hair apparent. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump just pledged to be loyal to the Green Party, the Communist Party and Party Central, as long as they agree to be nice to that thing on his head. If not, all bets are off. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Hell hath no fury like a frustrated fundamentalist whose God condemned him to "hell" for having "impure thoughts." — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Rand Paul tried hard to upstage Donald Trump at the first debate, talking tough about his guns and his right not to register them.… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
If every witty thing that's said was true, Oscar Wilde, the world would worship You! — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump isn't really running for president, come on! This is obviously a new reality show, Celebrity Presidential Apprentice. It ends with the incompetent… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump really is a fan of the Bible, except that it's far too long for him to read. So he just released a… — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Trump has officially changed his name to Ronald because he's such a clown, and in sympathy his toupée is changing its name to Bozo. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
When I was being bullied, I had to learn not to judge myself by the opinions of intolerant morons. Then I felt much better. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
If brevity is the soul of wit then brevity and levity are the whole of it. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
Donald Trump accused Huma Abedin of sharing state secrets with her husband. I think Trump clearly lacks a sense of Huma. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
President Obama contends that charges he is "not really an American" have been trumped up by you-know-who. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
I lived as best I could, and then I died. Be careful where you step: the grave is wide. — Michael R. Burch Copy Share Image
