Wait, we can not break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs.… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“Rocher was on the floor, crawling on her stomach toward Jate's feet. "I love you...," she kept repeating, in a demonic whisper. "I have… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I think that we should send all of the Killer Mediums to Afghanistan because al-Qaeda wouldn’t stand a chance.” — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“There was a cable-TV program that documented how Peeps are made, and it showed unlimited hordes of Peeps bouncing merrily down a conveyor belt,… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Because there’s a clock attached to every beautiful woman. From the second she comes into her own, she begins to decline, because she begins… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Yes, I shot my wife because I thought she was Bigfoot, but I'm from New Jersey. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
There is only one blasphemy, and that is the refusal to experience joy. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
I just hate that gay role models are supposed to be just like straight people, as if even straight people are like that. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
I love [my parents], but what if I could really talk to them? I mean, what if they had some answers? Or would that… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“I can’t quite put my finger on it, but there’s something quite different about you, from the last time we were together, what could… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Most gay bashers will be wearing what gay people had on four years earlier - only in polyester with a Penney's label. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
Writing is 90 percent procrastination: reading magazines, eating cereal out of the box, watching infomercials. — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image
“Nightlife is not for sissies, except of course for career sissies; an evening out requires at least a full day of minute preparation. .… — Paul Rudnick Copy Share Image