“A brick could be used to crush the dreams of the little guy. Especially if that little guy’s dreams are roach like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Then he cocked his head to the side, arched his left eyebrow like a drawbridge, and said, “I am you in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The moon looked like melted mozzarella to my bleary and blurry vision. Was I tired, intoxicated, or in love? Or was I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My dreams and ambitions kept me company on the way there, and despair and regret were passengers on my return trip. I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I write I am an avocado, and in a team sport setting, I am guacamole. And not to sour cream on… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to swallow up the nightmares you used to have as a kid. Whatever happened to those bad… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dream nonsense: Character: Hey, how are you? Me: I’m tired. I mean, this is a dream, so I must be, right?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“In a dream, in her head means in my head, as I have unrestricted access to her thoughts and the innermost parts… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were Ginger Rogers, and you were trying to teach me to dance, even though my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. I said green was blue and yellow, and you said green was yellow and blue. You… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You said you were leaving me, and I said, “When are you coming back?” You said,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We were playing table tennis, which angered my family because they were trying to enjoy their… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. We started a shoe company, and a competitor (probably someone from Nike) attacked you,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My dreams have wings. But not soaring eagle wings, more like the wings of a butterfly—colorful and easily ripped off. The last… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We went for a ride—you on all fours, and me on your back, and you didn’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were a lone candle on a barren vanilla cake, and I was the mighty breath… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were trying to understand the nature of nature, and I was trying to understand understanding.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You told me you circled three words in three books scattered in the Library of Alexandria,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were crying, and your tears were so salty I decided to collect your sadness to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. We picked up where we left off, with leftovers, and I said this was the best… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A Cyclops on a unicycle juggling three giant eyeballs couldn’t compare to the balanced vision my writing presents. In fact, noted linguist… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I dreamt it in my dream. You tried to steal my dream—the whole thing. But even though it was a dream, it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t think that taking off my eye patch would increase my night vision by 100%, but it would go a long… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I boasted that I bested the best, and I did. I beat my clone. In my dream, of course, but who cares?… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dream dialogue: -Don’t cry. I, too, know what it’s like to be different. -But I’m not different. I’m normal, I’m average, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He seemed to swallow the lie I fed him. I hope he’s not still hungry. If he is, I’ll give him the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream where I drank my own grandma. What she was doing disguised as a bottle of booze isn’t entirely… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I get advice from the fictional characters in my dreams. Sometimes It’s good, and sometimes it’s nonsensical.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream I took the form of Chuck Norris and kicked your ass. Then I impregnated you from across the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust. When I saw you with my clone… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to deny you your dreams. And a blanket could be used as a gateway to all your… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The girl of my dreams got married to someone else. But that’s OK. I don’t need her beside me to keep her… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make all your dreams come true. Well, not all of them. Just the ones that are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream my house was on fire, and I tried to rescue all the cats—and none of the politicians. You… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The woman of my dreams was tired. The woman of my dreams always lets me sleep in. The woman of my dreams… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a dream stimulator. Just tap it gently against your forehead. And if the mechanism gets stuck,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If the man of your dreams existed in two dimensions only, would you try to print duplicates of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I make love with my eyes closed, because I make love in my dreams. If you wanted to go for seconds, we… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Life is made up of only one thing: the now. The past and the future could be considered dreams, if only they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
