“The door of love is squeaky. Would you mind oiling it on your way out?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I left the door open so you could come in—and I could go out. That’s what being in love is all about.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll leave the door unlocked. Be sure to ring the doorbell before you climb in through the window.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The locked door in my house is just a diversion. The real valuable items are out in the open, where they are… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pulled to be opened.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Keys, they make it easier to get in and out of doors. So does invisibility.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Behind the door lies the question: Have you ever heard of a thing called knocking?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A door shaped like a vagina is more inviting. Sure, I’ll come in, but not slouched over. Allow me to straighten up… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The doors magically opened without the assistance of modern electronic devices. Instead, they cleverly employed doormen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The first door in the hall leads to youth, the second door leads to middle age, and the third door leads to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out some doors need to be pulled to be opened. I like to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll let you see the door is open, so you know I’m open to the idea that you can leave anytime you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dreams have one-way doors—the door you enter cannot be exited from, and the door you exit from cannot be used for reentry.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My girl didn’t step out on me. She just stood in the doorway and wouldn’t close the door.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“At the end of the universe you’ll find a door labeled “Do Not Enter.” No great mysteries are hidden there—it’s just a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can draw like it’s nobody’s business. I use my door as a canvas, so don’t knock, because it’s nobody’s business.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Doors open up for you when you work hard. Doors also open up for you when you walk with a limp and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I was hoping you’d leave the back door open for me, I said as he turned around to bend over and pick… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The door handle is on the wrong side of the door. It’s on the inside only, only in my dreams. I can… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
