“I twist and turn and grunt and stretch, all the while praying I don’t squeeze out a fart and gas every one of these limber bitches to death.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“I’d rather straighten my pubes with a flat iron than go on another blind date.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“Times are a’changing, my man. Welcome to the new real world where fat people don’t have to hate themselves anymore. Thank God for women… — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“Seurity!" I yelled. "I'm being harassed!" Security officers swarm around me and one orders me to step inside the small office area. "What's the… — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“I didn’t get my nap today. Wouldn’t do for someone to piss me off.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“I twist and turn and grunt and stretch, all the while praying I don’t squeeze out a fart and gas every one of these… — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“Will you hold on to my penis while I drive?” “If it’s absolutely necessary, yes.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
“Wishing he'd...get the hell out the door before I do something crazy like ask him to whip out his goober.” — Stephanie McAfee Copy Share Image
