Comedian Quotes · Page 28

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm…

— George Burns

Comedy is crowded. There are hundreds of comedians in every place in the world.

— Trevor Noah

I wanted to be a comedian. And I did that so much in high school, I couldn't get a girlfriend.

— Chuck Berry

As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year.

— Elayne Boosler

I would hate to be a standup comedian for ever. It would not be good. It would be the worst.

— Rose Matafeo

I realize how desperate it sounds for me, as a comedian, to ask you to laugh at my jokes.

— John Oliver

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to…

— Drew Carey

Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.

— Yakov Smirnoff

What I love about comedians is their instinct is always to go against the grain. Their whole existence is pointing out the…

— Colin Quinn

The skill set of pastor and comedian are incredibly similar. You want to affect people. You're good at reading rooms. You're persuasive,…

— Pete Holmes

I don't consider myself a stand-up comedian. I consider myself a performer; a comic as opposed to stand-up comedian. Stand-up comedians stand…

— J. B. Smoove

When I was in high school I saw Steven Wright, a brilliant one-liner comedian, and I thought: 'That's what I should do;…

— Mike Birbiglia

There's that great Bill Hicks line - the comedian - where he says, "Are you proud to be an American?" "I don't…

— Josh Radnor

I was terrified when my doctor told me that I had a unique and interesting personality trait, but then he told me…

— Doug Stanhope

Although I had good hand-eye coordination, I was so tall and skinny and muscularly weak that I just was not well coordinated.…

— John Cleese

You can't do anything to be funny. That's cringeworthy. If your humor comes out of a place of love every time, you…

— John Krasinski

Why do all these people want [comedians] to be serious? The reason they want that is these are people who aren't funny.…

— Jon Lovitz

I'm like the opposite of one of those comedians who's funny on stage and depressed behind closed doors . On record, I…

— Adele

My advice is: to try and stay really true to the things that make YOU laugh, as opposed to trying to create…

— Dane Cook

Seriously, if you want to get inside the head of a stand-up comic, you could do a lot worse than reading Steve…

— Al Murray

I don't know if I even consider myself a comedian really - I do comedic acting in some films and dramatic in…

— Kristen Wiig

Several of my uncles are comedians. My father is a comedian; my grandfather was known for his jokes. It definitely runs in…

— Charlie Murphy

I find comedians to be the biggest cocksuckers, because they don't want people to know how easy it is.

— Gavin McInnes

A comedian's job itself is tough. But I have been lucky to have made people laugh.

— Johnny Lever

I try not to be one particular type of comedian - I try to be foolish, and silly, and surreal, and quite…

— Sean Lock

Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

— George Carlin

I believe in fate. I didn't set out to be a comedian at first. I'm still not sure if I am or…

— Noel Fielding

I am known only as a 'comedian' in Hindi films, a tag which I disagree with. I believe I am an actor…

— Sanjay Mishra

It's annoying when people do that so-called comedians impression of me when it's stupid nonsense.

— Craig David

I believe that comedians do what they do, and then they get credit or criticism for doing it. There's nothing planned about…

— Jim Gaffigan

I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show.

— Chris Rock

Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) is a gimmick comedian who has devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success.

— Rex Reed

I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession.

— Elayne Boosler

I like to turn up my collar when I'm leaving the theatre and feel like I'm some heroic comedian figure.

— Frank Skinner

I always fancied myself more of an actor than a comedian before I realized that only assholes make that kind of distinction.

— Rob Corddry

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

— Andy Borowitz

comedians are people who say funny things, and comics are people who say things funny.

— Staton Rabin

I see myself as a comedian rather than a female comedian. I happen to be a woman, but I am a comedian…

— Miranda Hart

It's not all about acting. It's about giving an art of entertainment to humanity.

— Sean Berdy

What I love is getting a new joke, or a premise like a sketch idea or a movie idea. That's the best…

— Neal Brennan