Comedian Quotes · Page 24

I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.

— Jim Gaffigan

Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it's hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to…

— Dick Cavett

I set out to be a comedian, and then the spokesperson thing is kind of just something that came along with it.

— Josh Blue

I'm a comedian who happens to be Muslim; my comedy stems on all forms of my identity.

— Riaad Moosa

I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.

— George Carlin

I've always been a sarcastic person and people I dated would say, 'Oh, you're hilarious,' but it never occurred to me to…

— Janelle James

I love the buzz of doing live. I am a stand-up comedian and so I am not scared of live.

— Alan Carr

The audience loves when the comedian talks to them. You're creating inside jokes, which creates a community.

— Wendy Liebman

I don't think anyone's particularly conscious of thinking suits are the thing, but when you see a comedian on stage in jeans…

— Jack Dee

I'm such a fan of Lily's [Tomlin], for so many years. I feel like Lily was the first popular mainstream crossover comedian…

— Tina Fey

There is this fallacy of the 'cool' comedian out there. You see the guys who take themselves very seriously and think they're…

— Sean Lock

My career was exploding at the same time that social media itself was expanding. But when my online videos were taking off,…

— Bo Burnham

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort…

— Patton Oswalt

A lot of comedians today have misunderstood the concept of a subversive comedian. If you really want to be subversive, you have…

— Chilly Gonzales

Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics.…

— Gilbert Gottfried

“I think in my old age I've come to realize just how precious everything is and I try to value the many…

— Phil Hartman

The first comedians I became fascinated with were the Marx brothers. I couldn't get enough of them. Later in life, I thought,…

— Judd Apatow

I wanted to do the comic strip. I tried to get it syndicated, and I sent some examples to a syndication company,…

— Brian Regan

Most comedians want to be the architect of their own embarrassment. They have horrible self-esteem issues. I would rather push myself into…

— Mike Myers

And as Craig Brown - he's an English humorist, not a comedian but he's just a writer and humorist - I'm quite…

— Nick Lowe

In the stand-up comedy top, there's room for everyone - if you're good, there's room for everyone. You'll put on your own…

— Jim Jefferies

At the time, I was reading this Miles Davis book, and he was talking about coming to New York right after he…

— Dave Chappelle

From my experience working with comedians, there is that competitive aspect. With actors, for instance, they don't want to look competitive even…

— Michael Winterbottom

I did get good enough to get on HBO's Young Comedians Special, but I certainly wasn't the person who got launched off…

— Judd Apatow

August is the time when I can feel myself getting stronger as a comedian. I'm at the height of my powers come…

— Nish Kumar

I've often heard it said a preacher might learn with a comedian for a teacher.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

As a comedian you have to remind yourself that it happens; every now and again you can just have a bad gig…

— Richard Herring

Once or twice I've been described as a light comedian. I consider this the most accurate description of my abilities I've ever…

— Bing Crosby

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.

— Dick Gregory

As a comedian, I am attracted to truths that are uncomfortable. I like funny bummers.

— Adam Conover

As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something…

— Joan Rivers

Some of the best ideas I've gotten for my act have come from comedians and not magicians.

— Andrew Mayne

There are many comedians who are afraid to work outside the coasts and the casinos because they're afraid they'll bomb.

— Elayne Boosler

I would not have succeeded as a comedian had I not had some hugely lucky breaks.

— Romesh Ranganathan

Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'

— Andy Borowitz

Jesus was a brilliant Jewish stand-up comedian, a phenomenal improviser. His parables are great one-liners.

— Camille Paglia

Ask any physical comedian and they'll say the same thing. There are so many dark moments in comedy.

— Lee Evans

If you're billed as a comedian, people will accept anything you say as light-hearted and not with intent behind it.

— Megan Fox

I am not a comedian, I am an actor, and what makes an actor brilliant is his versatility.

— Binnu Dhillon

I like writing and directing. I enjoy telling stories, and I think it's born in a comedian to end up directing.

— Bobcat Goldthwait