Comedian Quotes · Page 25

I was a standup comedian, which is kind of like writing and directing yourself.

— Paul Feig

[Comedian Jerry Seinfeld was nominated for a Grammy for his spoken-word children's album] Halloween... Don't Give Up on Me.

— Jamie Lee Curtis

I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me.

— Jon Stewart

I don't know what it would be like to actually play guitar. I've toured with a lot of comedians and it's never…

— Eugene Mirman

In the dark times, if you have something to hold on to, which is yourself, you'll survive.

— Whoopi Goldberg

I'm not the sort of comedian who wants to make audiences think about politics. I'm not clever in that way.

— Peter Kay

I'm not a comedy writer, I'm a comedian, so I only write stuff that I would want to say.

— Anthony Jeselnik

Fame is an upshot of what I do. If you're a successful comedian or actor, then you're a famous one. But it's…

— Ricky Gervais

Many comedians consider themselves to be cutting edge. But why do we have to use the knife for the analogy. Let's use…

— Brian Regan

I like video games, but they're really violent. I'd like to play a video game where you help the people who were…

— Demetri Martin

Every comedian comes to a fork in the road where they have to decide if they're going to make jokes about other…

— Mike Birbiglia

I have late onset ADHD. I take on too much and end up spinning plates, but its entertaining, and it helps you…

— Rory Bremner

I've always been the king of silence. I've always been a minimalist comedian. I've taken my influence from Jack Benny, who was…

— Albert Brooks

The world has wanted me to speak differently than I speak. You know, I speak like my mom; I speak like, you…

— Jordan Peele

Sometimes people say I'm a political comedian, which, actually I'm not. I'm a comedian who sometimes discusses politics, culture - again, the…

— Janeane Garofalo

I think Eddie Murphy is the greatest comedian. I do think that Richard Pryor is the Godfather, but Eddie Murphy, in my…

— Lil Rel Howery

If God had perceived that our greatest need was economic, he would have sent an economist. If he had perceived that our…

— Anonymous

What I became a comedian for was to get my art out. To get some of these feelings and things I had…

— George Carlin

At first, it was really weird after being a touring stand-up comedian that wears just jeans and a shirt. But now, it's…

— Hasan Minhaj

You're always on duty because you're in a constant state of observation. That's one of the challenges of being a comedian. I…

— Mike Birbiglia

I'm not a comedian. I'm not a show host. I'm a musician. That's why I've turned down offers to host the Grammy…

— Michael Jackson

Growing up, I didn't know anything about comedy and didn't know anything about comedians or what standup was. I grew up in…

— Carlos Mencia

If you're a musician, you create what you love and hope other people love it as well. Amongst musicians, the starting point…

— John Bishop

Acting is the great love of my life. It gives you permission to use all parts of yourself. Permission to be the…

— Blake Griffin

I believe I am God's favorite comedian. I think he is a really big comedy writer. He writes scripts. And I just…

— Corey Feldman

I'm not a comedian - you've got to know your boundaries - but I think I could definitely do a comedic film…

— Jason Taylor

An academic is what I would have been if I hadn't been successful as a comedian. I've never had a proper job.

— David Baddiel

I didn't plan to be a comedian. I didn't plan to be a drag queen. It just kind of evolved.

— Bianca Del Rio

The only difference between a comedian and someone else? We need to make people laugh more.

— Greg Davies

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

— George Jean Nathan

The default position now is that comedians do Twitter but I don't know why. Every bad story you see about a comedian…

— Lee Mack

Comedians are thinkers. The best ones are akin to philosophers, in my opinion.

— Ted Alexandro

If in the first 30 seconds, a comedian cannot bring a smile to your face, he is not an entertainer.

— Chunky Pandey

I'm a comedian at heart, and I really can make people laugh, but ever since 'Amadeus,' all I seem to do is…

— F. Murray Abraham

Will Rogers used to say he wouldn't run for president no matter how badly the country needed a comedian.

— Will Rogers

I'm not a stand-up comedian. I'm not an improv person or anything, but I've always been a fan of that stuff.

— Haley Joel Osment

Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It's what you do for…

— Danny Thomas

I never really thought of myself as a sex goddess; I felt I was more a comedian who could dance.

— Rita Hayworth

I feel like comedy is only respected on the highest level, and on every other level, it's like a joke, like, 'Ugh…

— Michael Che

I started out as a stand-up comedian. And that's what I'm most comfortable doing.

— Eddie Murphy