Comedian Quotes · Page 10

As a disabled comedian, often my hecklers are also disabled.

— Rosie Jones

If you put your foot in it, be sure it's your best foot.

— Mae West

I am a comedian and you guys know whatever I say, I don't mean any of it.

— Jamie Foxx

Turning into a full-fledged comedian involves a lot of hardships.

— Vivek

I'm a much better comedian than I am a soccer player.

— Josh Blue

Remember, folks, I am a comedian, not a journalist.

— Kathy Griffin

I'm glad Reagan is president. Of course, I'm a professional comedian.

— Will Durst

Seth Meyers is highly overrated as a comedian.

— Donald Trump

I don't know any comedian who tailors his act to his audience. Maybe people say they do, but I can't even imagine…

— Colin Quinn

Sometimes I worry about things changing and people not liking me any more. As a comedian you do feel like you're walking…

— Michael McIntyre

As a comedian, Trump is comedy gold, and he almost makes my job too easy... the stuff that comes out of his…

— Maysoon Zayid

I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.

— Joan Rivers

I was just never discouraged from doing something wacky like trying to be a comedian.

— Kate McKinnon

Comedian sort of enjoys the darkness because, essentially, he's a thug. He's just not a nice guy.

— Jeffrey Dean Morgan

I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes.

— Paul Rudd

I'm a very straightforward person. But that's fine for a comedian. Because a lot of times you're talking about everyone else.

— John Mulaney

“And put your shirt back on, why don't you?" she said over her shoulder. "Remember, I'm a lady." "If'n you call twelve…

— Tess Hilmo

No one who hired Siegfried & Roy was shocked when they brought a tiger onstage. So you shouldn't be shocked if you…

— Adam Conover

I got my first television at Stanford when I was 20, and I used to watch 'The Dick Van Dyke Show'. He…

— Ted Danson

I took a class from a church comedian and I was squeaky-clean for five, six years of my career starting in churches,…

— Taylor Tomlinson

I think it's great training for any comedian to start on cows. Because with cows, you expect them to be bored and…

— Kristen Schaal

I have late onset ADHD. I take on too much and end up spinning plates, but it's entertaining, and it helps you…

— Rory Bremner

I'm a comedian, and I have my share of anxiety and depression; so do most of my friends. My humor tends to…

— Rachel Bloom

Jamie Kilstein is amazing and I will be spreading the word. He has the spark that energized my conscience. We need more…

— Robin Williams

There's so many variables in comedy. Comedy is not this thing that's a performance like a play. It's really an interaction with…

— B. J. Porter

One of the first TV shows that I did was this prank show. And we did a prank where we took a…

— Rob Huebel

Comedians are therapists. People honestly think we're doing it for ourselves. No. If we wanted to do stand-up for ourselves, we would…

— J. B. Smoove

I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't…

— Andrew Dice Clay

There's two types of hecklers. If someone says something really funny it's normally them heckling as part of the show. They're trying…

— Jim Jefferies

Back when the Bible was written, then edited, then rewritten, then rewritten, then re-edited, then translated from dead languages, then re-translated, then…

— David Cross

Wrangel pretended to combat the Bolsheviks, Bolshevism is Jewry. In order to retain the favor of the Jews holding the real power…

— Boris Brasol

I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics…

— Pat Paulsen

I think there's a part, just a part of comedians, that is still childlike.

— Bob Newhart

Although I'm a comedian, I'm also an amateur survivalist.

— Nick Kroll

You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists.

— Mike Birbiglia

I think Flip Wilson is a brillant comedian.

— Bobby Darin

I think anybody in front of a crowd is a comedian.

— Chris Rock

“Looking towards joy is the most important of rewiring the stress response”

— Miranda Hart

Keep laughing. As long as you’re laughing you still have hope.

— Moe Howard

I'm not a comedian. I'm an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion.

— Anthony Anderson