“I’m beside myself with excitement over my new clone standing next to me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I know what it means to be alone, especially in a large group of clones.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Who inspires me to write? My clone. I just want him to appreciate me as a person.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I did what I did for my clone, not for my own personal gain. It wasn’t right that he asked it of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My face and body are not my essence. My actions, ideas, and ideals are the stuff of me. My clone will have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He won’t be as funny as a mountain—he’ll be hill-arious. He is my clone, and I hope he kills me for this… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The fastest way for me to achieve self-improvement is with The Opponent Apparatus (my clone).” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I tattooed my name on my buttocks, so you’d know what an ass I am. Also so either me or my clone… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“No, lady, you didn’t have sex with me, you had sex with my clone. I’m sorry, but I don’t know you.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To take another person’s life for personal gain is the most selfish act imaginable. Especially when that other person is your clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine how I’d feel being jealous… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to find myself as a person, and I’ve enlisted the help of my clone to aid me in this. It’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I worry about identity theft. What’s to stop somebody from cloning me to drain the cash from my bank account? And it’d… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A clone’s most valuable function would be as a gift giver, because who else but you knows exactly what you want? Only… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m quoting my clone, because he quoted me thinking if I said it, he said it. He thought he was quoting himself… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When I see a poor person I think of me, and then I think, maybe I should pay my clones for all… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“He’ll think I’ll do it, he’ll act like I’ll do it, and so I will do it. But if he will think… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“After dinner I wanted to talk to her about buying a clone. But that’s probably just too much for her to handle,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am what I am, and I don’t need to prove it—least of all to myself. And I’ll be damned if I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Will I be subtly influenced by what my clone says, or by my own subconscious? Will my thoughts really be mine, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Out of all the guys she could love, I am two of them. But she chose my clone over me and that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Then he cocked his head to the side, arched his left eyebrow like a drawbridge, and said, “I am you in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Amnesia is not the only time you’ll forget who you are. It’ll also happen the first time you see your own clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If my clone weren’t dead, or rather not in nonexistence, he would have probably killed me by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d like to let another person reveal my personality, and I’d like this person to be my clone. My clone would see… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To love someone as much as you love yourself, that is the ideal. Especially if that someone is your clone. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The question is not where am I, but who am I? Where I am: Inside the body of my clone.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Question for your life: If Socrates had a clone, would he advise that clone to know thy self, or to know myself,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll make fun of him, but I’ll call him Him, because if I use his name I’ll immortalize him. After all, who… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If you had a clone, and you weren’t wearing perfume and your clone was, I’d automatically think your clone was more attractive.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m going to spend a lifetime being me, so I’d better like who I am as a person. My clone better like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s not gay to jack off, so how could it be gay to give your clone a handjob? If anything, it’s on-the-job… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The first man to successfully clone himself deserves to pat himself on the back. And then give himself a back massage.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I object to that object that’s made of bronze and shaped like my clone. It should be made of gold, and shaped… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I want to win an award that doesn’t exist yet. Well, I want my clone to win it, and that’s almost the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“How to duplicate yourself: hang out with the same people and say the same things all the time. The you of today… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
