I went to a cigar store, the man behind the counter asked me, "What kind of cigars do you like?" I answered,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“No. Freud said it best, I think, when he said, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Sometimes your mother's boyfriend is… — Nenia Campbell Copy Share Image
There was a young man of Herne Bay who was making some fireworks one day: but he dropped his cigar in the… — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is… — Franklin P. Adams Copy Share Image
“Karl’s76 cigar is on the table in front of me, and that is something really indescribable – was he nice? and understanding?” — Dietrich Bonhoeffer Copy Share Image
Why should we be letting people smoke their cigars in their comfortable chairs in Raqqa? — Benjamin Carson Copy Share Image
Cigarette sales would drop to zero overnight if the warning said "CIGARETTES CONTAIN FAT. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every… — Ron White Copy Share Image
And so the liberal tendency became a habit with Stepan Arkadyich, and he liked his newspaper, as he liked a cigar after… — Leo Tolstoy Copy Share Image
I'm looking forward to providing the men of Seattle with an evening where they can kick back, light up a cigar and… — Tom Leykis Copy Share Image
A thing that has always baffled me about women is that they will saturate themselves with a pint of perfume, a pound… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile.If you say "No! I don't want it right… — Lynda Barry Copy Share Image
When a doting person gets down on all fours and plays with the dog's rubber mouse, it only confuses the puppy and… — Corey Ford Copy Share Image
That smell of freshly cut grass makes me think of Friday night football in high school. The smell of popcorn and cigar… — Garth Brooks Copy Share Image
If your kid makes one of those little homemade guitars out of a cigar box and rubber bands, don't let him just… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the birth of a genius resembles that of an idiot, the end of a Havana Corona resembles that of a 5-cent… — Sacha Guitry Copy Share Image
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on… — George Burns Copy Share Image
It would be a service to mankind if the pill were available in slot machines and the cigarette were placed on prescription. — Malcolm Potts Copy Share Image
I collect cigars. I love giving 'em away to people that really enjoy 'em, and I could think of no better place… — Rush Limbaugh Copy Share Image
Asthma doesn't seem to bother me any more unless I'm around cigars or dogs. The thing that would bother me most would… — Steve Allen Copy Share Image
The most futile and disastrous day seems well spent when it is reviewed through the blue, fragrant smoke of a Havana Cigar. — Evelyn Waugh Copy Share Image
For a few months when I was about 17, I smoked a small cigar because I thought it looked cool and it… — Jonathan Dimbleby Copy Share Image
Don't like to do anything half-heartedly, even if it is a wicked and self-destructive avocation like smoking cigars — Curtis LeMay Copy Share Image
Tobacco is the passion of honest men and he who lives without tobacco is not worthy of living. — Moliere Copy Share Image
Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Personally, I believe a rocking hammock, a good cigar, and a tall gin-and-tonic is the way to save the planet. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I smoked my first cigar in 1991, when we won the championship. Up to that point, I had never smoked a cigar,… — Michael Jordan Copy Share Image
Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A cigar numbs sorrow and fills the solitary hours with a million gracious images. — George Sand Copy Share Image
If you think that one individual can't make a difference in the world, consider what one cigar can do in a nine-room… — Bill Vaughan Copy Share Image
There are a million really good cigars, you gotta really float around cigars. It's not like being locked into a brand of… — Ron White Copy Share Image
Lastly (and this is, perhaps, the golden rule), no woman should marry a man who does not smoke. — Robert Louis Stevenson Copy Share Image
Some sigh for this and that; My wishes don't go far; The world may wag at will, So I have my cigar. — Thomas Hood Copy Share Image
I drink a great deal. I sleep a little, and I smoke cigar after cigar. That is why I am in two-hundred-percent… — Winston Churchill Copy Share Image
My first stringed instrument was a cigar box banjo where I cut and turned the pegs and strung the wires myself. — Carl Sandburg Copy Share Image
We flew over to England by the same route Churchill took. It was easy. All we had to do was follow the… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Why pay $100 on a therapy session when you can spend $25 on a cigar? Whatever it is will come back; so… — Raul Julia Copy Share Image
There's something about having a great bottle of wine and a great cigar. Nothing compares to it. — D. L. Hughley Copy Share Image
Rhythm is best expressed in any swing directed at a cigar stump or a dandelion head. — Grantland Rice Copy Share Image
