HUMORIST, n. A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
High School: Oh, man. This is where boys and girls go from tweens to teens and become complicated and cruel. Girls play… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
I'm not sitting in my office stroking a white cat... I find it very frustrating: what benefit have I got of closing… — Mike Ashley Copy Share Image
Chickens are interesting individuals who have as much right not to be cooked and eaten as a dog or a cat or… — Bruce Friedrich Copy Share Image
Cats are great. They don't talk about useless things. Or do them. Nothing is cuter. They are something that don't exist in… — Yana Toboso Copy Share Image
Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it was the sausage-maker who disposed of the body. — Mark Forsyth Copy Share Image
Sometimes I am just playing the character. I will move out of the way of the microphone, and they will have to… — Antonio Banderas Copy Share Image
While cats can be infuriating, little old women in fur coats, they make me laugh. Of course, dogs, horses and my highly… — Rita Mae Brown Copy Share Image
Well, I had a wolverine. It was supposed to be a cat, but Jason (Patric) is allergic to cats. I can't remember… — Guy Maddin Copy Share Image
I collect records. And cats. I don't have any cats right now. But if I'm taking a walk and I see a… — Haruki Murakami Copy Share Image
If a cat had a halo, it would probably wear it around it's tail. It makes a statement. — Sergio Aragones Copy Share Image
In a clutch or a corner, I tend to make a weapon out of what is near at hand. That can be… — Dean Koontz Copy Share Image
If God did not intend the cat to live happily with humankind, why is there a meow in the middle of the… — Leonore Fleischer Copy Share Image
Dogs seem more photogenic than cats. In photos most cats look like sociopaths. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
When you come to the New Testament you can't even swing a cat without hitting three demons and two spirits. And magic… — Frank Moore Cross Copy Share Image
Cats don't bark and act brave when they see something small in fur or feathers, they kill it. Dogs tend to bravado.… — James P. Gorman Copy Share Image
Every day, three times per second, we produce the equivalent of the amount of data that the Library of Congress has in… — Nate Silver Copy Share Image
I personally cannot watch horror films: I am a scaredy cat and scare incredibly easily. — Perdita Weeks Copy Share Image
A new study found that a mother's diet affects her baby's allergies. Which can only mean one thing: My mom ate cats. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
“Has it ever occured to you that crazy cat people may be sane and you be the the crazy one?” — Quitillian Blue Copy Share Image
To assume a cat's asleep is a grave mistake. He can close his eyes and keep both his ears awake. — Aileen Fisher Copy Share Image
If I die before my cat, I want a little of my ashes put in his food so I can live inside… — Drew Barrymore Copy Share Image
Cats possess so many of the same qualities as some poeple that it is often hard to tell the people and the… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
A boy is a magical creature you can lock him out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
