“A brick could be translated into Spanish, and then used to landscape a lawn. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bricks could be used to build stronger relationships. But so could bribes.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be locked in a safe, because nobody will try to steal it there. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used for a calf muscle implant for a bodybuilder who wants a competitive edge. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop people from reading my book. Just place the brick on the book’s cover, to discourage… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to silence your critics. Well, unless all your critics are mutes. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a bottle opener. Just don’t smash down too hard, or you’ll shatter the bottle. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is a polarizing object. Especially if you find it at either the North or the South Pole. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to start a civil war. And then that same brick could be used to start building the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to declare war on a country made of glass. I’ll bet those citizens would love to drink… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be placed in the trunk of a car manufacturer’s competitor, to increase the odds of decreasing their fuel efficiency. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a replacement for an erection. Hey, I did it in the early 2000s, and I gave… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a status symbol, much like a Mercedes is now. The cool thing about a brick is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make the world safer for our children. Well, not our children, as I don't actually have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be an object to measure your life against. Are you square, rigid, and inflexible? If yes, are you in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bricks could be used to pad the pockets of crooked politicians. Why stuff their greedy pockets with cash, when we could load… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to manipulate people into doing what you want. If anything could offer one man an unfair advantage… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to unite two long-lost brothers. They’ve been apart for six inches, and that’s entirely too long, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help teach teenagers to tie their shoes. Honestly, if they are so stupid that they haven’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick and a blanket walk into a bar, and the bartender turns and says, “What can I get you started with?”… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is a duplicate. It is a physical copy of the idea for a brick. And what’s the big idea? A… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help defeat all incumbent politicians whose last name starts with Brj and anything after that alphabetically.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It’s easy to operate. Just go to a party, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in the same manner as a magician’s hat could be used as a basketball. I’m not suggesting… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is a lot like love. I mean, I’m sure it is. It simply must be. However, I can’t think of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could have been used as a father figure in place of my dad when I was growing up, because a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a hammer. A brick could be both a tool and a building material in the construction… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to show you how to live a richer, fuller, more satisfying life. Don’t you want to have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is slow, when it’s lying on the floor. But fast when just thrown. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is a banana. No it isn’t. Still, I think you should eat it anyway. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to soften resistance. Smash the opposition into a pulp! ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
