“A brick could be used to satisfy your hunger—and satisfy my curiosity. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as food for thought. Every politician should chew on that. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to divide two people, and then conquer both of them. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help you keep your job. Just hold it down, man. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is a mode of transportation, for a bug going nowhere in life. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be pet, like a dog, and taught to shit in my neighbor's yard. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of the scale holds a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a Blushometer. To find out how embarrassed you are, just measure you blushing cheeks against the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to prop up a wobbly table—or an unstable relationship. I wish I’d have thought of that before… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 feet. You know, as a going away present. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to silence your critics. Think of it like a really thick and unchewy piece of chewing gum. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick can be used to represent a ruin, or the beginning of new construction. With a brick, the past is the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to tell the time. If you can see it it’s daytime, and if you can’t see it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a pillow, if you first wrap it with a blanket. But if you’re shivering from being… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to crush grapes. If that sounds unnecessarily cruel, then I guess you wouldn’t like to pour you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be a politician, if you attached strings, taught it to dance, and allowed it to read a teleprompter. Remember:… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to sell pepper to people in the salt mines. So while you’re busy selling pepper to the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a flying decision inducer. You could have said yes before I threw the brick, but I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to increase your annual sales. But before you can sell, you’ve got to buy. For just $9.99… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to balance work and play. Just place the brick on the top of your head, and don’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick represents my rationality, and a blanket represents my emotions. It’s robot versus mannequin, and to get a sense of who… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to let that special someone in your life know how much you love them. Instead of tossing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is what the aliens gave me to communicate with them. It’s easy to operate. Just go to a party, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in the same manner as a magician’s hat could be used as a basketball. I’m not suggesting… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could have been used as a father figure in place of my dad when I was growing up, because a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is a lot like love. I mean, I’m sure it is. It simply must be. However, I can’t think of… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a hammer. A brick could be both a tool and a building material in the construction… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be your new best friend. If this appeals to you, it’s probably because people tend to seek the company… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick and a blanket walk into a bar, and the bartender turns and says, “What can I get you started with?”… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help defeat all incumbent politicians whose last name starts with Brj and anything after that alphabetically.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to show you how to live a richer, fuller, more satisfying life. Don’t you want to have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a deodorant deterrent. Just ask any stinky Congressman.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I would rather build a relationship than a wall. Can you pass me another brick?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be placed down on the first step on the path to enlightenment.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
