“A blanket really makes the bed. Good thing too, because I never make the bed. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to show people the benefits of sleeping with a parachute—especially if you’ve got a flying bed like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a smothering agent, sort of like an employee of the NSA. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cause global warming. If you don’t want to future generations to die, I’d recommend shivering in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to lay down the law. Lay it down over there, on top of the bed, and I’ll… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must! ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to spread the love around. Tuck it in at the edges, so nobody can hog all the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cover up your infidelity. Either use the blanket to hide your cheating ways, or figure out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used, or it could not be used. They are opposites, but that doesn’t mean one is good and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I was too blind to hear. I’m hungry for a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to ward off warts. I tested it out last Tuesday on my Aunt Velma, and she doesn’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used like a giant piece of paper. Most people just want to cum on it, but occasionally someone… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to stop terrorism. Unless that terrorist has a small knife, or really sharp teeth, and is able… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to announce your intention to announce your intentions. Make sure the blanket is neon orange though, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a soggy umbrella, if you’re too cheap to buy my 360-degrees spinning windshield wiper on a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to say hello to a man who’s not only tone deaf, but also regular deaf. Just wave… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A flag could be used as a blanket, but a blanket couldn’t be used as a flag. A blanket provides real warmth,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a tarp over one of those tiny circular inflatable pools for children. Well, you might call… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blanket could be used to form a new word—tenkalb—which in turn could be used, or not used at all. But that’s not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick and a blanket can be used as reasons to go on searching, when you’ve found all the obvious applications for… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to represent a thing. Now this thing is curious, because it represents an idea. This idea is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If a blanket could be used to keep one person warm, then it stands to reason that all the blankets in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as wrapping paper, to give the gift of a cat. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to fly interdimensionally. My penis is a wormhole. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a tablecloth, and a brick left as a tip. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
