Guy goes into a bar with a duck under his arm. Bartender says, "Where'd you get the pig?" Guy says, "This is… — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, "Did you fall?" He said, "No,… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
First, you hand over some basics-overwhelming joy, existential angst, a giving-in to desire, etc. And then you promise to withstand talking idly… — Julianna Baggott Copy Share Image
The Perkins Bar has always demonstrated a commitment to the community and excelled in service not only to the minority community, but… — Kevin Cook Copy Share Image
What I'm sowing today, I be reaping tomorrow So here's some joyful bars, to replace your sorrow. — LL Cool J Copy Share Image
I like it when you reach into a vending machine to grab your candy bar, and that flap goes up to block… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff. — Adam Sandler Copy Share Image
I staggered into a Manchester bar late one night on a tour and the waitress said "You look as if you need… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
He slouched back in his seat, looking tired, and leaned his face on his shoulder to look at me while he played… — Maggie Stiefvater Copy Share Image
No distinction in kind rather than degree between ourselves and the chimps? No distinction? Seriously, folks? Here is a simple operational test:… — David Berlinski Copy Share Image
I'd like to be remembered. I'd like to think that someday two guys will be talking in a bar and one of… — Cal Ripken, Jr Copy Share Image
Arraigned at my own bar, Memory having given her evidence of the hopes, wishes, sentiments I had been cherishing since last night--… — Charlotte Bronte Copy Share Image
21 years as CEO is a long time. I was and probably still am the longest serving CEO in America. Certainly I… — Michael Eisner Copy Share Image
I can't get past the fact that food is coming out of my wife's breasts. What was once essentially an entertainment center… — Paul Reiser Copy Share Image
Hey,” Shane said from the other side of the bars. “Trade you cigarettes for a chocolate bar.” Funny,” Eve said. She was… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
My parents would frisk me before family events. Before weddings, funerals, bar mitzvahs, and what have you. Because if they didn't, then… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
Drag shows are one of my favorite things in the world. As a straight man I love going to gay bars. People… — Steve Kazee Copy Share Image
I once sang 'Summer Nights,' from 'Grease,' at a bar in Melbourne with John Travolta, who's a good friend of mine. He… — Hugh Jackman Copy Share Image
The problem is that many MPs never see the London that exists beyond the wine bars and brothels of Westminster. — Ken Livingstone Copy Share Image
I gave examples from my clinical practice of how love was not wholly a thought or feeling. I told of how that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most guys my age are boring human beings. They sit in bars, get drunk, and then go home to tell their kids… — Ozzy Osbourne Copy Share Image
There can be many bars, wires that keep a person trapped. All of them don't have to have been created for the… — Michelle Alexander Copy Share Image
In my garden, care stops at the gate and gazes at me wistfully through the bars. — Alexander Smith Copy Share Image
