We have no healthcare and we have all the guns in the world, it makes you think twice before you start throwing… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I just had - we had instances - like, for instance, when I turned 13, she threw me a bar mitzvah. But… — Trevor Noah Copy Share Image
If I take a lick from so and so, I'm not going to get that many variations from it, because their phrases… — Emily Remler Copy Share Image
Having said that, I must now admit that I was still afraid of human beings, and before I could meet even the… — Osamu Dazai Copy Share Image
Although I am good at enumerating my father’s flaws, it’s hard for me to sustain much anger at him. I expect this… — Alison Bechdel Copy Share Image
The matter of bringing in corrupt leaders was started by [Mwai ] Kibaki, and in truth, do not be surprised if you… — Raila Odinga Copy Share Image
The blues is deceptively simple. Verse and chorus. Sometimes not even a chorus. Four bars that repeat, no Auto-Tune, electricity optional. It… — Shawn Amos Copy Share Image
If deliberate distortion of reality by corporate media could be effectively prosecuted in the United States, the entire industry would be behind… — Cynthia McKinney Copy Share Image
Cavities are made by sugar. So if you need to dig a hole, then lay down some candy bars! — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
The term "bend sinister" means a heraldic bar or band drawn from the left side (and popularly, but incorrectly, supposed to denote… — Vladimir Nabokov Copy Share Image
For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to… — Artie Lange Copy Share Image
Occasionally they came to villages, and at each village they encountered a roadblock of fallen trees. Having had centuries of experience with… — Richard Preston Copy Share Image
Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
I never drove a car in my life. Given my drinking habits in those days, I would have been dead a long… — Carl Andre Copy Share Image
In some types of music I'm working out all the chords one bar at a time - the whole structure, because it's… — Danny Elfman Copy Share Image
I lived in Koreatown for five years, and I lived blocks away from about seven karaoke bars. — David Walton Copy Share Image
I was 13 or 14 and I met Donald Trump at a bar mitzvah of a good friend of ours, who's friends… — Jason Spezza Copy Share Image
When you go to a bar that has a black light, everybody looks cool. Except for me, because I was under the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I was in a sushi bar and it dawned on me - how could I discriminate between a cow and a fish? — Carre Otis Copy Share Image
A horrid alcoholic explosion scatters all my good intentions like bits of limbs and clothes over the doorsteps and into the saloon… — Dylan Thomas Copy Share Image
In hell there's a big hotel where the bar just closed and the windows never opened. No phone so you can't call… — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
If you want to be your best, spend a lot of time exploring what is more than enough. Push yourself until the… — Brad Alan Lewis Copy Share Image
I'm very friendly or whatever, but I would hardly say that I'm that cookie-cutter. I don't live in L.A. or New York.… — Kelly Clarkson Copy Share Image
Her father guarded her, and she guarded herself; for there are no padlocks, bolts, or bars, that secure a maiden better than… — Miguel de Cervantes Copy Share Image
