I thought for like five years that when you have sex, you come and one of your balls comes out. That's what I thought happened, that you have to come a ball out of that little whole at the tip… — Louis CK Copy Share Image
Sorry, Americans only buy things that come from suffering. They just enjoy it more when they know someones getting hurt. — Louis CK Copy Share Image
You're all gonna die. Then you'll be dead for way longer than you're alive, like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be. You're just… — Louis CK Copy Share Image
When girls go wild, they show their tits to people. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub. — Louis CK Copy Share Image
They charged me 15 dollars. That's how much it costs to only have 20 dollars. — Louis CK Copy Share Image
Im bored is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of.… — Louis CK Copy Share Image
A man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he'll leave you as a human being intact. He won't… — Louis CK Copy Share Image
Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughedinto my mouth. — Louis CK Copy Share Image
I'm buying a Cinnabonat the airportI arrived at. You understand why that's extra disgusting, right? Because when you're at the airport you're leaving from,… — Louis CK Copy Share Image
