“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized future. What we gain is a life more in the present, where we are not mired… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“When forgiveness experts talk in binary language (“You either forgive the wrongdoer or you are a prisoner of your own anger and hate”), they are collapsing the messy complexity of human emotions into a simplistic dichotomous equation.” — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“Letting go of anger and hate requires us to give up the hope for a different past, along with the hope of a fantasized… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“There’s a widespread belief that if you have solid self-esteem you don’t need outside affirmation and praise. This is patently untrue, by the way.” — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
It is an act of courage to acknowledge our own uncertainty and sit with it for a while. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Nothing you say can ensure that the other person will get it, or respond the way you want. You may never exceed his threshold… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
If you exchanged wedding vows, tape them to your bathroom mirror and read them aloud to yourself every morning along with the ritual brushing… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Kids want nothing more than for all the important adults in their life to get along. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“People's sense of self worth is pivotal to their ability to look clearly at the hurt they've caused. The more solid one's sense of… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Being able to make a sincere apology - one that says, "Yes, I get it; I screwed up. Your feelings make sense, and I'm… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
“Everyone freaks out. Sometimes the best we can do with fear is befriend it. Expect it and understand that fear will always reappear. Eventually… — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
The bolder and more courageous you are, the more you will learn about yourself. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
Underground issues from one relationship or context invariably fuel our fires in another. — Harriet Lerner Copy Share Image
