I go on Wikipedia and alter pages of animals with fake facts that I've made up about those animals. — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
I was writing this really long joke about the smell of poop, and I was like, 'What am I doing with my… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
It's amazing how much people talk about colonics here. That's not a thing anywhere else in the country. But I totally did… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
There are a billion songs that I've heard and said, 'I don't even care to have an opinion about it,' but if… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
When I moved to New York at 22, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I took an improv class, and… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
Everyone wants something that'll appeal to, like, 13-year-olds to 18-year-olds. Especially working in television and trying to pitch shows, they're like, 'We… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
In doing my podcast, I do find that I tend to try out bits that I then try on stage later that… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
For a long time, I would go out of my way to have a personal appearance on the verge of an insane person, because… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
It is true that I do not wear shoes as the host of 'Bunk.' I want 'Bunk' to feel like there's a slight possibility… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
I never understood using Kickstarter for commercial purposes. If you want to raise money for commercial purposes, I think you should give someone a… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
I used to be really snobby about music. I'm not as snobby as I used to be, though. I have this great bit about… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
Every day I do one or two podcasts that 92 percent of people never will hear. I'm constantly producing, constantly making jokes for Twitter.… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
I think we get stuck in routines so easily that when an absurd moment in life seems to be there for no reason, it… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
Other than Caroline's in New York, I pretty much haven't done clubs. That was primarily because I always liked the people and audiences at… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
In my new IFC comedy game show, 'Bunk,' we actually use our intern Patrick as a human timer - giving contestants the time it… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
I want to continually find ways to bring my ideas off the stage and into the real world, into the streets. I think I… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
The feeling of being an outsider was a big part of my childhood. I think that helps comedians. That feeling of being an outsider.… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
For people who mourn for old Times Square - hey, there's a ton of places in the city still like that! Get on the… — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
I've had a good run of birthdays, and now no one will notice when I die. — Kurt Braunohler Copy Share Image
