All of the people in my building are insane. The guy above…

The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me all of…

— Steven Wright

Through neglect, ignorance, or inability, the new intellectual Borgias cram hairballs down our throats and refuse us the convulsion that could make us well.…

— Ray Bradbury

At the last minute, I couldn't wear the Hitler mustache because Tiger Stripe ate it; and then I didn't want to take my kitty…

— Chuck Palahniuk

Hope is like a hairball trembling from its birth...

— Christina Rossetti

It's the way you look whenever she mentions her fiance. My cat looks like that before he hacks up a hairball.

— Kenneth Oppel

Kissing Mother Superior, incompetent, hairball, poppy seeds, on the can.

— Jennifer Egan

My family suffered. My hair turned up in every corner, every drawer, every meal. Even in the rice puddings Tessie made, covering each little…

— Jeffrey Eugenides

But why diminish your soul being run-of-the-mill at something? Mediocrity: now there is ugliness for you. Mediocrity's a hairball coughed up on the Persian…

— Tom Robbins

A part of her wanted to tell him she still loved him, and that even though this love was hopeless and long over, it…

— Ann Brashares

“Those who lack a sense of humor are destined to be life's hacked up hairballs.”

— S.A. Garcia

Slipknot sounds like Tre choking on a hairball.

— Billie Joe Armstrong

I auditioned for 'Cats' - I didn't sing but I was able to cough up a hairball.

— Stephanie Miller

This Windows 95 hairball has become so big, so unmanageable, so hard to use, so hard to configure, so hard to keep up and…

— Scott McNealy

I'm afraid I have to expel a rather ferocious hairball. You're on your own, girl.

— Cheshire Cat

Then there were the shabti, magical figurines that were supposed to come to life when summoned. A few months ago, I’d fallen for a…

— Rick Riordan