My mother-in-law buys her coats in a carper shop. She…

My mother-in-law must be the probation officer I got for the crime I committed of marrying my husband.

— Phyllis Diller

I'd love to slit my mother-in-law's corsets and watch her spread to death.

— Phyllis Diller

Mothers-in-law do not make good house pets. Once I had the most wonderful dream -- I dreamed that mothers-in-law cost money and I couldn't…

— Phyllis Diller

I suppose, mother-in-laws are frightening figures. Especially, more so for mother-in-laws to be.

— Sonia Gandhi

If there's an award for best mother-in-law in the universe, in the future, when my son gets married, I will win that award.

— Laura Schlessinger

I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her.

— Ken Dodd

The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.

— Les Dawson

I've just had some bad news. Tomorrow is the mother in law's funeral. And she's cancelled it.

— Les Dawson

As one whose husband and mother-in-law have died the victims of murder and assassination, I stand firmly and unequivocally opposed to the death penalty…

— Coretta Scott King

If someone should ask, "how should an Opposition function?" the best answer would be, "in the manner of a traditional mother-in-law who watches the…

— Anonymous

I went from resenting my mother-in-law to accepting her, finally to appreciating her. What appeared to be her diffidence when I was first married,…

— Ayelet Waldman

When you've got little kids, and you're tucking them in. When you open a door and they're in their pajamas and they're, you know,…

— Barack Obama

There is scarcely room for doubt that something in the psychological relation of a mother-in-law to a son-in-law breeds hostility between them and makes…

— Sigmund Freud

My mother-in-law was so mean she blinded herself just to get a free dog.

— Gary Delaney

What can you say about a man, who on Mother's Day sends flowers to his mother-in-law, with a note thanking her for making him…

— Nancy Reagan