This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On…

“Sam,” Beth said, as she placed her hand on his arm. Looking at him, her eyes were full of love. “This is the Christmas…

— Debbie Macomber

“When he looked up, he said, "Clare told me about Christmas." And I swear the boy's face began to shine. I recognized what I…

— Marisa de los Santos

My doctor told me I'm due on Christmas Day! The baby is going to be spoiled with a lot more gifts.

— Kendra Wilkinson

“Hunter: you promised me separate rooms, remember?" He looked like I'd just told him Christmas was cancelled.”

— Jane Harvey-Berrick

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.

— Milton Berle

Mr. Weasley was unavailable for comment, although his wife told reporters to clear off or she'd set the family ghoul on them.

— Anonymous

When you coming home Thats a text from my wife. I told her, run a bubble bath and float in that mother***er like a…

— Kanye West

To my wife 'I told you I was sick'.

— Lou Holtz

My wife told me she wanted something with lots of diamonds, I bought her a deck of cards

— Green Monk

I used to bicycle to work across the George Washington Bridge, but my wife told me it wasn't professional.

— Mehmet Oz

My wife told me I'm not as disgusting to her as I used to be.

— John Kruk

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right.

— Rodney Dangerfield

“Before taking her into the library, my wife told me she was an old friend in a marriage crisis. A fatuous lie; at her…

— Robert Ludlum

“He asked me not to kill myself - asked, not told. His wife had done that, he told me, and it was in a…

— Mary Balogh

I tell ya, I don't get no respect ... Last week, my wife told me that she was going to cut me down to…

— Rodney Dangerfield