I'm that crazy-ass drunk uncle that nobody wants to invite…

I can skate beautifully. While performing on ice I always try to please the audience and to win as well. Being artistic is very…

— Evgeni Plushenko

When you go to a club it's not about being black or white or heavy or thick. I'm shaking my ass because I want…

— Miley Cyrus

In the movie, the stars above the ship bear no correspondence to any constellations in a real sky. Worse yet, while the heroine bobs...…

— Neil deGrasse Tyson

“There was once an old but clever donkey, who never liked the sting of any bee, Nor for all the Slung mud, did he…

— Priyavrat Thareja

I named my son Noah for the same reason Chris Martin named his apple: we're asses.

— Thom Yorke

Apuleius married a rich widow, then wrote _The Golden Ass_.

— Edward Abbey

What is this world?--A term which men have got, To signify not one in ten knows what; A term, which with no more precision…

— Charles Churchill

I can tell you this. It is not going to be evenly constituted and when she was Speaker Pelosi, she certainly showed no interests…

— Trey Gowdy

Whoa. He had ghouls on speed dial. My lawyer kicks so much ass.

— Kevin Hearne

Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes!

— William H. Prescott

“Employment is an employee’s kissing of an employer’s ass. A salary is the employer’s pretense to be cleaning his ass.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

— Bob Saget

Now people are really inspired to do a lot, and the fire got lit under our asses to be more politically aware and be…

— Sasheer Zamata

Friends, haters, it's Twitter poll time. What do you think most holds back justice and equality for women? All thoughts welcome!

— Olivia Wilde

Held in the palms of thousands of disgruntled people over the centuries have been ideas worth millions - if they only had taken the…

— Robert M. Hayes