I wish I had a funny story.

I wish I had funny dreams. My dreams are rare and inevitably end in my own death.

— Mike Wozniak

It's never fun to run out of gas while on a road trip, But the adventure of trying to find gas when your in…

— Ryan Bingham

Santa Claus has nothing to do with it," the latke said. "Christmas and Hanukah are completely different things." "But different things can often blend…

— Anonymous

This story never really had a point. It’s just a lull - a skip in the record. We are addresses in ghost towns. We…

— Pete Wentz

I don't sit down to write a funny story. Every single thing I sit down to write is meant to be sad.

— Lorrie Moore

“Funny story. A bunch of people -- the cult -- blame the appearance of abilities on the invention of the internet.”

— Alex Lane

If 'heartache' sounds exaggerated then surely you have never gone to your garden one rare morning in June to find that the frost, without…

— Ruth Stout

Every funny story has at least one unusual thing in it.

— Matt Besser

In fact, one of the funny stories from that set [of Hail, Caesar!] is we were shooting my scene, and around lunchtime, Terrence Malick…

— David Krumholtz

Writing a funny story is one thing. But writing a funny story that inspires others to venture beyond their level of comfort in pursuit…

— Romany Malco

The longer and more carefully we look at a funny story, the sadder it becomes.

— Anonymous

Funny stories on set - there are thousands of them, but they are only funny to the people who were on the movies. You…

— Bruce Campbell

I like how you don't hide your problems like everyone else, and I don't have to hide mine when I'm around you.

— Ned Vizzini

ʺWhy,ʺ he began slowly, ʺis Victor Dashkov joining us?ʺ ʺWell, itʹs kind of a funny story . . .ʺ

— Richelle Mead

“This time I don't want to be my own mother. I make a decision, take the entire bag of chocolate to my bedroom and…

— Andrea Partee