The first printed mention of bagels... is to be found in…

Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast.…

— Elayne Boosler

When I'm in L.A., I have salads, sandwiches, and soups all the time. Eating in New York, I feel like I have to have…

— Peyton List

“Deming and his mother loved everything bagels, the sheer balls of it, the New York audacity that a bagel could proclaim to be everything,…

— Lisa Ko

Bryn ate her bagel in silence, and by the time she was finished, Liam had already neatly packed her overnight bag and loaded it…

— Rachel Caine

Just out of curiosity, can an immortal choke to death on a bagel? (Francesca)

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

From a Twitter post on why food is better than people: 'Bagels don't talk about you behind your back.' ... Since WHEN???

— John Alejandro King Aka The Covert Comic

New York was the only city I knew in the world where you could be desperately lonely at nine in the morning, crossing the…

— Shirley MacLaine

“Enjoy your cinnafucks!”

— Pat Shand

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

— Chelsea Handler

The bagel is a lonely roll to eat all by yourself because in order for the true taste to come out you need your…

— Gertrude Berg

I have very strong opinions about bagels.

— J. Kenji Lopez-Alt

Songs are pretty easy. They are small, they are modular, they are about as big as a bagel. They are easy to build. Films…

— Tom Waits

Once I was coming down a street in Beverly Hills and I saw a Cadillac about a block long, and out of the side…

— Dorothy Parker

When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say…

— Steven Wright

“Why do seagulls live by the sea? A: Because if they live by the bay, they’d be bagels.”

— Joe Kozlowski